


This Year's Girl

by District_7_Profanity



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: AU, F/F, Joniss - Freeform, Mockingjay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-02-20 22:40:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 36,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2445797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/District_7_Profanity/pseuds/District_7_Profanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Johanna's messing around in Beetee's laboratory and Katniss tries to stop her. Instead, they switch bodies and have to figure out a way to keep it a secret as he works on a cure. Mockingjay setting, Joniss! Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Switch

There was little to celebrate in 13. Their lives were drab, the surroundings were drab, the people were drab. Johanna had been stifling underneath the yoke of structure since landing on her back in the hospital after being rescued from the Capitol. The only, very brief, highlights of her day were the times she got to use an axe in training (she hated the guns) and the small time she spent with Finnick. A very close third, though, was antagonizing her new roommate, the unflappable Katniss Everdeen.

She had so gallantly offered to be Johanna's roommate in a move that while helpful, made Johanna feel like she was in Katniss's debt. Which was a ridiculous thought considering what she had been through to protect Katniss in the Quell. So in an effort to even out the score, Johanna took to antagonizing Katniss almost every chance she got. So as she stood in their room now, watching the heat rise in Katniss's cheeks, she couldn't help but grin. "Some leader of the rebellion. Can't even get undressed in the same room with another girl. Don't you have a sister, Everdeen?"

Katniss scoffed and ran her fingers through her hair angrily. "Not everyone likes to strut around naked."

"It's called  _asserting your dominance_. You should try it sometime. Sometime when you're not too busy milking this 'I'm too young and innocent and all I want is to save my boyfriend' thing." Katniss balled her fists at her side and Johanna tilted her head. "What, like I'm wrong? You've barely laid a finger down for this rebellion and everyone is busy lining up to shine your shoes. It's appalling."

"I didn't ask for this," Katniss contested hotly.

"Too bad!" Johanna yelled, tossing her skinny arms in the air. "This is your life, whether you like it or not. People are looking to you to stick it to Snow. So you can do better than feeling sorry for yourself half the damn time."

"You want to be the Mockingjay? They wouldn't have to feed you lines."

"True but no one likes me. They like you. For reasons I cannot see." Katniss scowled at Johanna who merely smirked in response. They were far removed from the arena but it felt like only yesterday she stared into Johanna's distrustful brown eyes and had only taken her on as an ally because of Finnick. She hadn't known, then, that Johanna was on her side. Though most of the time it still felt like she wasn't.

"Is that why you hate me?" she asked to Johanna's turned back.

There was a pregnant pause before Johanna responded. "Partly," Johanna admitted without turning around. Her arms folded across her chest. "Jealousy is certainly involved."

 _Jealousy_? That was new. There was nothing about Katniss she felt anyone would be jealous of.  _Not particularly pretty_ mutt-Peeta had said.  _Not a leader_ Coin had told her.  _Distrustful and kind of stupid_ Haymitch had said. Even Finnick, her only ally outside of Gale, whose world was falling apart with Annie in the Capitol, had thought she was weak.

"Jealous of what?"

Johanna turned around exasperated, similarly to how she had whipped around in the elevator, shooting Katniss a look of disdain. "Forget it, brainless."

* * *

Going to Beetee's workshop was one of the things Katniss actually enjoyed about living in District 13. Before Peeta had been returned from the Capitol he seemed to be the only one that understood her confusion, her anger, her betrayal. Haymitch was supportive but the trust had been broken; all she had wanted was to see Peeta come back alive. He had promised. Instead she was rescued and Peeta and Johanna were captured and tortured.

The latter girl had, despite agreeing to be her roommate and them helping each other in training, been trying to get on her nerves for weeks. It was as if she had made a sport out of embarrassing Katniss or trying to piss her off. She'd talk about her torture, about Peeta's screams, about how spoiled Katniss was by the Capitol at almost every turn. She had wanted to become friends with the girl but Johanna seemed singularly determined to keep her at a distance.

So Beetee was a welcome respite from the constant nag of President Coin and Plutarch breathing down her neck. It was a safe place where she could try new bows and shoot with Gale. It was almost like home. It was time to give herself pause and get down to what she really was. Not some leader, not a Mockingjay, not a rebel; just a girl with a bow and arrow and a family to protect.

Her stamp indicated that for a few hours after breakfast, and before her dreaded Mockingjay meeting, she'd be able to spend time with Beetee in the meadow. She was excited to finally have something to look forward to. She was less excited to find that her roommate was already there when she arrived. As Katniss opened the door to the makeshift meadow he had created, she was greeted to Johanna and Beetee in a somewhat heated argument. Typical.

"Johanna, I insist you give that back to me!" Beetee was rolling his wheelchair towards Johanna who was easily dodging him as she ran around with some metal contraption in her hand. She was holding it high above her head which was cruelly unnecessary since Beetee couldn't stand out of his chair to begin with.

"Or what, Wheels? You'll roll me to death?" Johanna teased with her hand still high in the air. Gale was nowhere to be seen but he was often called for actual rebellion needs while Coin knew Katniss was only important until the rebellion was over. Johanna, on the other hand, was a boon to no one. She didn't care to throw her support behind Coin and she certainly hated the Capitol. Katniss so envied Johanna's ability to simply skim along life and not worry about offending anyone. The path there - the loss of her family, her friends, the destruction of her district, the prostitution - was not enviable, of course, but the fact that she did as she pleased was something Katniss wanted.

Beetee looked at her sternly. "Johanna that is a very unstable, very dangerous piece of equipment." Even Beetee, in his infinite patience for Wiress and the slowness of others, was tiring of Johanna's abrasive attitude.

Johanna clipped the metal in her hand and raised an eyebrow. "It looks like a can opener, Volts."

"I assure you it is not a can opener. It is a highly sophisticated mechanism that should not be in the wrong hands." He looked toward Katniss, pleading in his eyes.

Katniss looked over at Johanna who merely smirked. She could see the expression in her eyes:  _Go ahead, brainless. Try me_. Katniss sighed and took a few steps toward her. "C'mon, Johanna. Give it back to Beetee. It's not an axe, why do you want it anyway?"

Johanna shrugged. "Because he was so fucking insistent on keeping it away from me. Trying to shove it in a drawer when I got in here like he was looking at pictures of nude girls." Katniss barely hid a smirk and Beetee rolled his eyes and let out another very loud sigh. "And he won't tell me what it does."

Katniss brought her gaze to Beetee warily. "What does it do?"

He leveled his eyes at her from over the top of his glasses. "You don't want to find out. We don't even know if it works. The plan was to get some of those manufactured Capitol chimps in here and try it on them. There's no way it can be tried on humans yet."

Johanna grinned at Katniss. "See? Doesn't that sound interesting?" Katniss went forward to try and take the contraption from Johanna who wrenched it out of her grip. "Oh come on,  _Mockingjay_." The way Johanna used that term, derisively, spitting it out like it was some kind of wretched curse word, irked Katniss more than it should. Most things about Johanna irked her more than they should.

And for Johanna, it was always a joy to get a rise out of Katniss. This pampered girl with no idea of what the real world entailed who wore the burden of rebellion like a funeral shroud, Johanna loved getting under her skin. "Just put it down," Katniss said in a low growl, causing Johanna to pause in her dance to get away and raise her eyebrow.

"Oh really? Or what? Or you'll shoot me with your bow and arrow? Tell Coin on me? Tell your mutt boyfriend to attack me?" Johanna knew she was getting Katniss's blood to boil as her usual stoic appearance showed signs of twitching anger. "Or tell your not-crazy boyfriend-cousin and get my lack of privileges taken away? Or maybe you'll just do it yourself?"

Katniss lunged forward and grabbed Johanna's wrist that held the contraption. Johanna looked momentarily impressed before getting angry again. Beetee's shout of "no!" was unheard as the two women grappled for control of the metal piece in her hand. After a struggle ensued for a few moments their hands seemed to clasp together like a magnet.

Johanna's eyes widened in concern as neither of them could get free. The contraption buzzed and pulsed between them, sending vibrations through their bones. A very small glowing blue light emitted from the steel between them before it shot outward and they were propelled a few feet on to their backs.

Beetee rolled over to Katniss and peered down at her as she coughed. He went to placed his hand on her bicep to help her up and she wrenched away from him. "Don't fucking touch me." Beetee's eyes went wide as Katniss's eyes also enlarged about twice their size. She looked down at her body, then back up at Beetee. She scrambled back a few feet and hit a wall, using it to raise herself back on her feet. "Oh. Shit."

On the other side of the room Beetee watched as Johanna got to her feet and wobbled unsteadily for a moment. Her mouth dropped open as she stared at Katniss. "What did you do?"

"Me?" Katniss shrieked. " _You_  came at  _me_!"

Beetee looked between them both and suddenly there was clarity in his eyes. And, because of his love of science, a hint of pride. "It worked."

Katniss, or rather Johanna, shot him an angry look. It was interesting to see Johanna's anger in Katniss's gray eyes. "What worked? Volts, I swear to fuck..."

Beetee rolled his wheelchair over to the control panel and smacked a few buttons around. Soon a diagram of the steel piece they used came up. Both girls approached the screen awkwardly, giving each other glances out of the corner of their eyes. He looked between them. "Well, it was ...an experimental device. You see, there's this theory that your soul, shall we say, is a physical thing. It's a tangible part of you, like your immune system or nervous system. There are ancient scriptures dating back thousands of years that talk of the soul as a physical part of the being. It exists on a quantum level. At least, in theory it does. And as evidenced by what I assume is a radical shift in personalities, the theory holds water."

"In fucking English, Volts, or I will make you a quadriplegic." Beetee watched as Katniss, in Johanna's body, looked horrified at the words coming out of her mouth.

Beetee took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Essentially? You've switched bodies. Johanna," he looked at Katniss's body, "you are now in charge of Katniss's body. You look like her, sound like her. To everyone on the outside, you  _are_  her." He looked to Katniss in Johanna's body. "And you're Johanna."

"But I'm still me," Katniss protested, hearing her voice come out high like Johanna's. "I feel like Katniss."

"Well you look like shit," Johanna replied. Katniss raised her eyebrow. Was that meant as an insult to herself? She shook her head and then paused in her movement. Her hair. Johanna had soft curls that hung around the tops of her head but didn't extend passed her ears. That would take some getting used to.

Beetee cleared his throat. "Either way, I will start immediately on fixing this but neither of you are to tell anyone." He looked at Katniss. "You must pretend to be Johanna. And more importantly," he turned his wheelchair around to face Johanna, "you must be convincing as Katniss. If President Coin were to find out her Mockingjay was now being controlled by another person... I fear for what she would do to you both."

"And to you," Johanna added. A small smirk appeared on her features as she looked over toward Katniss. It was bizarre, but, she almost didn't recognize herself. The fear and trepidation and annoyance in her own eyes looked so distinctly Katniss. It was mind-blowing. "I get to prance around Thirteen like I own the place? I get to wander in and out of training and then wonder why Coin doesn't want me to go to the Capitol?"

Katniss placed her hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes. "I get to have a bad attitude and parade around naked and cover up my loneliness with rage?" Johanna's eyes, well  _her eyes_ , squinted at her in anger. Katniss stepped forward to herself and shook her head. "You have no idea what you're getting into. You can't just do whatever you want. You are  _me_. You are my sister's sister. My mother's daughter."

Johanna rolled her eyes. "Relax, Twelve. I'm not gonna go tell your sister about the birds and the bees. I had a family once too, you know." Katniss's angry gaze softened. "Before my _loneliness was covered in rage._ "

Beetee coughed once more and looked between the two girls. "Johanna this will be much harder for you. Despite whatever you believe, Katniss is integral to the operations here. Her presence and input is required for almost every important event regarding this district and the rebellion itself. You won't just need to be present; you will need to make everyone believe you're Katniss."

Johanna scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Please. Like it'll be hard to sit there and act like the world is on my shoulders." Johanna moved Katniss's face into a stoic expression, eyes wide. "We have to save Peeta." Beetee rubbed his mouth to prevent a smile. A grin broke out on her features. "Did I nail it?"

"Fuck you."

Johanna smirked. "You've got me down already." Katniss begrudgingly smiled at Johanna who flashed her a brief appreciative smile in response. She looked to Beetee. "How fast can you remedy this? Because to be honest I do not want to be making googly eyes at the fucking baker for the next few weeks." She waggled her eyebrows. "The cousin on the other hand. Might have to pay him a visit."

Katniss opened her mouth to object but she was suddenly stricken with an odd feeling. As she stared at herself she felt her blood pressure rise. Though it was like looking in a mirror, the internal feelings felt different. There was no comforting sense of familiarity, or even the loathsome self-deprecation. There was something weird. Something that felt like nausea? Did Johanna really hate her that much?

Johanna looked down at Katniss's arm and shrugged her shoulders. "Looks like it's lunch and then some weapons training." Suddenly her eyes got very wide in a panic. "I can't shoot a fucking bow and arrow. Not like she can. York's gonna know immediately that something is up. And we both know she can't throw an axe to save her life. Literally."

Katniss looked mildly offended but overall, Johanna wasn't wrong. Their strengths were very different. Would their bodies over-ride their minds? Would her body intrinsically know how to shoot a bow? "Why don't you practice here for a second?" Beetee guided his wheelchair over to the table and picked up Katniss's bow. Katniss went toward it but Johanna intercepted and snatched it.

Katniss moved off to the side next to Beetee as Johanna began to get comfortable with the bow. She loaded an arrow and Beetee brought up a few simple targets across the room. With impressive precision Johanna began taking down the targets one by one. Beetee made the obstacles progressively harder but Johanna continued to nail each one.

Katniss watched and felt that stirring of nausea deep down in her stomach. A hunger. She looked at Beetee as he watched Johanna shoot. "So I guess this means that our bodies are still kind of the same?" Beetee nodded. "Like, what we're feeling when we do something or see something is ...what she would actually feel."

Beetee nodded his head and looked up at Katniss, who looked rather worried. "Yes it would seem so. Are you feeling something strange?"

Katniss shook her head, again feeling strange without the curtain of hair or her braid weighing her head down. "No no, not at all. Just wondering."

He looked at her over his glasses and shifted his chair so he was facing Katniss. "I know this is extremely unfortunate and I promise to fix this as soon as I can. But um, your feelings and any side effects that you may face would be extremely beneficial to me. I know I probably won't be able to rely on Johanna for help so if you could check back in every once in a while that would be greatly appreciated."

"Sure." Katniss looked down at Johanna's arm for her schedule and saw nothing. She rolled her eyes. Typical. She was sure Johanna had to be somewhere so she walked over to her and grabbed her arm. Johanna whirled around and wrenched her arm free, giving Katniss a scowl. "Look, I have to go to a meeting with Haymitch and Plutarch before lunch. I mean, well, you do. You have to...take..my person there." Johanna smirked, well, Katniss watched her own face smirk and it was remarkable how Johanna her own face looked.  _Eyes are the window to the soul_ she had heard somewhere, a long time ago. It seemed true enough as she stared into her own gray eyes she saw Johanna.

Johanna tossed the bow haphazardly on the floor and held out her forearm. "Yeah, brainless, I know. I can read." She rolled her eyes and brushed past Katniss to make her way toward the meeting room. She had never been allowed to attend these meetings so on the inside, she was a little pumped.

* * *

She realized quickly there was no reason to be pumped. These meetings were as dry as wallpaper paste and Johanna quickly fell asleep in her chair, her boots propped up on the meeting table. "Katniss!" she heard someone whisper and she groggily opened her eyes and looked around for the Mockingjay.

 _Oh wait, that's me._ Johanna looked over at Haymitch. "Hm?"

He leaned forward, pale blue eyes wide. "President Coin asked you a question." His look screamed  _'What the hell is wrong with you?'_ but Johanna ignored him and turned to Coin.

"I'm sorry, what was the question?" Johanna's voice sounded low and weird. Katniss's voice, rather. She'd have to get used to that noise. And she felt taller.

President Coin raised her eyebrow and pursed her thin lips. "I asked, Miss Everdeen, if you had any questions regarding the plan for the newest set of propos. We think Finnick Odair and Annie Cresta's wedding is the perfect opportunity."

Johanna smiled. The wedding! She had nearly forgotten in her recent quest to make Katniss miserable. How far she and Finnick had come to a point where he could safely marry Annie? It felt like only yesterday they were sharing one last glass of wine before going into the Quell, and toward their certain deaths. "I think that sounds perfect. Actually, have you guys thought about letting Brea-" Johanna cleared her throat. "Letting Peeta make the wedding cake?" Coin and Haymitch shared a surprised look and Johanna shrugged. "I mean, he's the baker, right? Maybe it would help him. Be therapeutic or some shit."

Did Katniss say shit? Probably not, Johanna thought, but oh well. She said it now. Coin nodded, a look of - was that impressed? on her face. "I think that's a great idea. I'll have Haymitch discuss it with his doctors. You're dismissed, Miss Everdeen."

"Yeah? That was it? Wow." Haymitch shot Johanna a look but she chose to ignore him and left the room without saying goodbye to anyone. She wandered back to her compartment where Katniss was fast asleep. Or well, her body was asleep . She watched for a few moments as her own chest rose and fell and began to feel uncomfortable. Emotions creeped inside her brain as she looked down at herself. Guilt. A surprising feeling of anticipation, like standing on a ledge. Those didn't feel like her own emotions, they felt alien.

With a shrug she went into the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror. Staring at Katniss. She stretched her face a few times; smiling, frowning, scowling. Katniss looked much prettier when she smiled. Though with what her life had been like the last two years, it's no wonder that she didn't. Without much thought she stripped off her shirt, looking down at the tanned skin. She had always been so pale it was unsettling to see her skin darkened.

She pulled off her pants and underwear, unclasped her bra and stood in front of the mirror, totally nude.  _Finally,_ Johanna thought to herself. Katniss was such a prude. And why? Johanna moved her body to the side, looking at her stomach, her arms, her breasts. "Shit Twelve, you're kinda hot," Johanna muttered to herself approvingly. She had always found Katniss attractive, but never like this. She took a look at her hair, slightly disheveled, and frowned. She should probably bathe.

She turned on the faucet of the tub and let the warm water fill the white bowl. Normally being this close to water would freak her out, but Katniss's body was so calm. Katniss hadn't gone through her torture. She wondered how much of that fear was inside her brain, and how much of it was just her entire body's knee-jerk reaction.

Johanna settled into the tub, tensing her body as the water hit her every pore. It was a little nerve-wracking, but it wasn't as bad as it was when she was inside her own skin. That was something she wasn't looking forward to when Beetee solved this problem. For now though, as she scrubbed her skin with the soap they provided, she could enjoy a warm bath.

* * *

When she stepped out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around her and underneath her arms she was immediately slapped in the face. "What the fuck?" she said as she recoiled, about to strike back until she realized she was looking at herself. But the indignant anger in her eyes was all Katniss.

"You ...you..."

"I took a bath, Everdeen, calm down." Katniss widened her eyes upon hearing her own voice call herself Everdeen. "You were kinda ripe."

She watched amusedly as Katniss made her face contort into offense. Johanna wasn't sure the last time she had actually even been offended. "You..you had to do something weird! This is bizarre enough without you in there and me thinking about..."

"About what?" Johanna challenged, raising an eyebrow. "About me seeing you naked?" Johanna asked in a scandalized voice. "It's not like you have anything I don't have. And besides," Johanna said, brushing past her, "you're pretty hot."

Katniss was momentarily stunned but then she growled in frustration and stormed out of the compartment, slamming the door behind her. Quickly Johanna changed into pajamas and sat on her bed, folding her arms under her head. So far, pretending to be the Mockingjay had been pretty easy. She didn't know what Katniss was always complaining about.

* * *

Author's note: I hope this isn't too confusing. If Johanna is speaking, it's Johanna inside Katniss. If Katniss is speaking, it's Katniss inside Johanna. Clear? This is gonna be a fun one! Let me know what you think!


	2. The Mockingjay

Katniss awoke with a hard jolt, grasping her bed sheet in tight fists and feeling her body shudder in the darkness. The small green clock next to her bed blinked 4:54AM. She raised a hand to wipe her eye and froze in her movement. Everything felt off. Her skin felt tight and cold and her hair...

 _Right_. She was inside Johanna's body so the little curls she had were matted to the top of her head. That's why her dreams, usually of Rue in the field or the one with her father in the mines, were different. A fire crackled ominously in the distance and a wall of flames similar to the one she had been victim of in her first Games began tumbling toward her. She could hear screams, voices she didn't recognize but felt were familiar to Johanna, before everything turned to ash and she awoke with the smell of sulfur still burning in her nostrils.

Reasoning she'd have to be awake in an hour anyway Katniss threw her standard issue itchy cotton blanket off of her and stretched her limbs. She'd never noticed how tiny Johanna was. Her presence was so imposing it belied her stature. The uniform hung off her shoulders even though they were supposed to be fit to size. Even considering she gained weight since her time in the Capitol, she still seemed unbelievably small. Katniss ventured into the bathroom, deciding she'd take a shower before Johanna woke up.

She stripped out of her uniform, tossing her undergarments on the floor with everything else. The water would run cold this early in the morning, but Katniss hadn't had time to get spoiled by the warm water in the Victor's Village anyway. She turned on the faucet and felt her chest constrict painfully.  _What_? The water poured into the drain, wastefully, but Katniss felt herself pressed back on the tile wall. She felt like she was back in the woods with Gale, jostled after shooting down the prey, seeing Marvel fall to his death at her arrow.

Quickly she shut off the tap, feeling Johanna's body tremble. Cautiously she ran a small towel underneath the water and rubbed her skin with the abrasive material. It still made her shudder but it was manageable. Surely this was something wired in Johanna. These physical reactions seemed so disconnected from her thoughts: it's just water. But her body was reacting as if it was pure acid. But Johanna swam in the Quell, hadn't she? Finnick dunked her in the water just after Johanna slapped her across the face. Back when she was one move away from sinking an arrow into Johanna, but she had saved Beetee and Wiress. Katniss smiled a little because deep inside she heard herself wanting to call them Nuts and Volts. As much as Johanna tried to disguise it, even Katniss could see her anger at the loss of Wiress. It was brief, but it was there. She remembered seeing Johanna's face, slightly forlorn, as Finnick apologized for the loss of Blight. Johanna had brushed it off, as she did with all emotions, with a mumbled "he wasn't much, but he was from home." She recalled touching Johanna's wrist gently, urging her not to go into the jabberjays section. That memory caused a flood of warmth spreading through her veins, which made Katniss smile again. Johanna remembered.

Once she deemed herself clean enough, and had successfully dodged a mirror to not ogle Johanna naked (she had embarrassedly done enough of that during the Quell and in the Training Center), she returned to her room to find Johanna, or rather herself, still in a fitful sleep. You never get to see yourself in real life; you see photos of yourself or your reflection or your image up on a screen. But to see yourself in person... Katniss found herself staring at her own sleeping form. She sat down on the edge of her own bed and stared across the room. She barely recognized herself.

Katniss watched her stir until she awoke, blinking a few times into the darkness. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness she narrowed them, somehow looking impossibly like Johanna despite being in Katniss's body. "Were you watching me sleep?" A sly grin came on her face. "Were you watching yourself sleep? God, Everdeen, all of this catering to your every whim has gone to your head, hasn't it?" Johanna got up and stretched her limbs, running her fingers through her hair. Her fingers lingered in her locks a few more moments longer than necessary. "I guess it would've gone to mine too. Had anybody ever given a fuck."

Katniss frowned sourly. "You know, that's not really fair. A lot of people care about you, Johanna." Katniss watched her own eyes flick up at her incredulously. "Finnick?" Johanna rolled her eyes. "Haymitch. Beetee, in spite of everything you've said about him, he cares. Even Peeta has asked about you."

Johanna scoffed. "All of us on the island of misfit toys, right? All of the broken people, we care about each other. That's why you're not one of us, Twelve. You're not broken."

"I have lost, too, Johanna! You think that just because I'm the 'Mockingjay' that I don't feel loss?"

Johanna stepped forward, using her height (for the first time) to tower over Katniss. It was strange to look into her own face and see Katniss in her eyes. "What have you lost? Really? What, because your district is in ruins? Big deal. Let me lay some fucking truth on you, kid. Snow would have destroyed it anyway. Twelve was in no fucking shape to withstand a war. Less casualties? Sure. But this is a fucking war. Atrocities happen."

"Don't you dare. You don't understand for a moment what I -"

Johanna lifted her hand and slapped Katniss on the cheek. "You have your mother, your sister. You have your mentor, your escort, your prep team. You have your body." Johanna's voice broke on the last sentence but her stare was unwavering. "You have both your boyfriends, although Peeta's a little worse for the wear, admittedly. You have a legion of people waiting to lay down their lives for you. And you want to cry because what? Because of Rue? Because you couldn't save a little girl in a situation she would have died in anyway? Get off your fucking white horse, Katniss. You're no goddamn hero." Her voice softened. "You're just a girl."

Katniss went from enraged to perplexed as Johanna continued her spiel. "Why are you like this?" Katniss asked, taking a step away from Johanna. Being so close to her had sent a nauseating wave of emotions through her that she had yet to really identify. She didn't know if she wanted to identify them. "Why do you hate me so much?"

Johanna grunted in frustration and tossed her hands in the air. "You really are fucking brainless, aren't you?" A small flash of confusion went through Johanna's eyes but she shook it off and stared back at Katniss. "Just forget it." Johanna stalked over to the wall and got her arm stamped. Meeting with Plutarch, training with Soldier York. Lunch. With a grumble Johanna disappeared into the bathroom.

Katniss placed her own arm in the wall and received her duties for the day: session with Dr. Aurelius, meeting with Beetee, Lunch. Katniss immediately felt her stomach fill with dread. It felt unethical to go to Johanna's doctor appointment. However it was just as unethical for Johanna to continue to strip down naked and stare Katniss's body.

They didn't exchange any words as Johanna dressed. She combed Katniss's hair out, tossing the brush on to the bed and walking out the door without even looking at Katniss. Katniss stood in the room, alone. There would be no expectations when she walked out that door. Nobody would look to her for support or for answers. Maybe they'd look at her with a little bit of fear. She grinned at that thought. It felt almost like a relief.

* * *

Her grin turned into a frown as she went to breakfast. Johanna was already there ...well,  _she_ was already there, sitting between her mother and her sister. Her mother was braiding her hair, and she was playing some sort of sing-songy hand-slapping game with Prim. Gale took in bites of his oatmeal as he watched on amusedly. An overwhelming jealous chord struck deep within her chest. It was near impossible to separate her feelings and the ones leftover inside Johanna so she elected to ignore it.

 _All of the broken people, we care about each other_.

After the oatmeal was placed in her bowl she turned around to see Finnick waving her over to his table. Beetee had rolled over to the end and Annie, as usual, was attached to Finnick's side. Katniss and Finnick had gotten close while the others were in the Capitol, but nowhere near the closeness she imagined he and Johanna shared. The nature of their relationship was a mystery to her. She hadn't given it much thought except during the Quell but there has been more pressing issues then. And she wasn't comfortable with either if them knowing she had been curious. Narrowing her eyes she walked over to their table, trying to scrutinize her feelings as she sat down. The only thing she felt as she looked into Finnick's seafoam eyes was a small amount of comfort. Something like what she felt with Gale. Maybe they were just friends. Finnick's eyes then mirrored her own. "Is everything okay, Jo?"

 _Jo_. Katniss wondered what would happen if she started calling Johanna that. It seemed cute. "Peachy." That sounded like a Johanna answer. Sarcastic but truthful. Finnick seemed satisfied and nodded his head, returning to his meal. Beetee looked over with raised eyebrows and Katniss gave him a small nod. "Lucky Volts gets to hang out with me later. Any idea what we're doing?"

Beetee hid a smile as he cleared his throat. "I believe we're going to be working on your axe-throwing skills. I've got my hands on some technology for these aerodynamic axes that fly through the air with less friction. Quicker deaths. I figured you'd be the best person to test them."

"Damn right." Beetee couldn't help but laugh as Katniss dug into her oatmeal with a wiggle of her eyebrows. She figured if she didn't raise any alarms around Finnick, she was doing a good job of being Johanna. Nobody here knew Johanna better than he did. They ate their meal in a comfortable silence, save for the whispering between Annie and Finnick. The sandy-haired boy looked up at her and smiled.

"How's it going with Katniss?" Katniss nearly choked on her rations as she looked up at Finnick, who was staring back at her in earnest. She had no idea to what lengths Johanna had discussed their dynamic. There was a long beat after he asked before he slowly raised his eyebrow. "I mean, at least now you know she doesn't hate you." His smile, so genuine, made Katniss smile back.  _Ha!_ Johanna had been worried that she hated her?

"Well why should she hate me? I did save her life. More than once. She can't be that brainless." She had no other answer. She really didn't ever hate Johanna, she only hated the way Johanna pushed her buttons. When Johanna purposely prodded her and tried to make her feel guilty about Peeta or the rebellion, even then she didn't hate her.

Finnick chuckled. "True, but you better be on your best behavior. She went out on a limb to get you into that compartment. And you know how you get." Katniss raised her eyebrows in agreement but said nothing in response. She did know how Johanna got. They had done nothing but argue themselves into exhaustion since the moment Johanna had gotten into the compartment. Save for the few moments between them where they spoke about training, they were constantly on edge. She tried to turn her face into displeasure and Finnick merely smiled back. "Don't make this harder on her, okay? She's had it pretty rough."

Katniss wanted to smile to appreciate Finnick defending her, especially to Johanna, but she couldn't. Johanna certainly wouldn't take to being chastised about her behavior. She shot a look back at Johanna who was busy bonding with  _her_ little sister. "Yeah, must be tough to be the center of attention 24/7 and have your every whim catered to. All your family still in tact."

Finnick glowered at her. "Jo, please. She's suffered. We all have. Comparing pain does nothing to lessen your own."

She whipped her head back toward him. "What are you, my head doctor now?" Beetee looked surprised over the rim of his glasses. She saw Annie's eyes begin to widen and she knew the poor girl was about to teeter over into a void that only Finnick could retrieve her from. Katniss didn't know what it said about her that she was almost glad she didn't have to care about Annie and her mental fragility. Instead she rolled her eyes as Finnick murmured into the redhead's ear.

"Don't be like that," Finnick chastised as Annie removed her hands from her ears.

Katniss shrugged her shoulders as she scooped another helping of the oatmeal into her mouth. "So you're on her side now?"

Finnick sighed. "I'm on nobody's side. We're all on the same team."

Katniss puffed out a long stream of air in an exaggeratedly exasperated movement. She was totally nailing Johanna, at least in her own estimation. Combative, mean, sarcastic. "Some of us just have more cheerleaders than others." With that she lifted her tray and left the other victors there in her wake.

So far, being Johanna was pretty liberating. As she cast a glance toward her family, happily embroiled in conversation, her smile dropped again. Liberating, but lonely.

* * *

Dr. Aurelius was Katniss's head doctor as well but he pretty much napped during their sessions. Which wasn't a problem for Katniss, she didn't enjoy to share anyway. She didn't know how Johanna behaved so she went into the room expecting much of the same. It wasn't.

"Miss Mason I'm glad to see you." He was not only awake but particularly chipper. She lifted a surprised eyebrow and sat down in the long chaise, propping her boots up and clasping her hands over her stomach. "How are your new living arrangements working out?"

Well apparently that was the talk of the town. "Fine." Katniss rapidly grew uncomfortable under his gaze. He was staring at her so intensely with his gray eyes that she was certain he expected more information.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I know your feelings for Katniss have been a bit complex at times." Katniss snorted. He smiled kindly at her. "As we've discussed, I sincerely hope you've begun to let go of your anger and jealousy. She is not the target of your rage."

"That doesn't stop her from being irritating." It was bizarre to feel how easy it was to "become" Johanna. She hadn't any clue about the concept of the soul other than the spirit comment Cinna had made before her interview. But from what she had felt inside Johanna's skin, it must be pervasive in your body. It was almost  _too_  natural.

He chuckled good-naturedly and leaned against the edge of his desk. He got the look on his face that Katniss had seen on Finnick's just before he tried to reason with Johanna. Johanna was hard to peg in terms of reaction so Katniss was positive he was attempting to tread lightly. "Have you tried telling Katniss how you feel?"

How she feels? Oh sure, she's said plenty of times how useless Katniss is. How privileged and childish she is. Johanna is many things but dishonest or quiet are not among them. But she wasn't sure of exactly what he was talking about. Which feelings? The jealousy? The hate? The indifference? "And what would I tell her?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Miss Everdeen is very practical. I'm sure if you approached her without your usual caustic tactics, she may respond positively to you."

 _What_? Katniss blinked a few times in massive confusion. "I wouldn't know what to say."

"That you want to be friends," he explained calmly. Oh. The constriction in her chest loosened. Also a strange pang of disappointment. She must've said "oh" aloud because he stepped closer to her, a look of care in his eyes. Katniss didn't know what Johanna was griping about, Dr. Aurelius was much better with her. "Perhaps if she accepts this friendship, it will help in your recovery. I do think you need to come outside of yourself. Learn to rely on others."

Well that was stupid. Any victor would be able to tell him how impossible it was to trust anyone. When you're left to fend for yourself for your life? Trust is as rare as diamonds in 12, never mind among the broken trail of victors. "People have a habit of disappearing on me."

He nodded, rubbing his soft hands together. Of course he had no experience dealing with victors in this rabbit warren. She smiled at the term Johanna used for 13. But she couldn't really blame him for trying to go with some steady mental health advice. Johanna, like Katniss herself, did need to learn to open up to others. "That is in the past, Johanna. You can't change that so you might as well get on with things. Your best weapon against the Capitol is your ability to have a bright future."

"Or an axe and a rifle to Snow's head." Katniss smirked at the doctor who chuckled at her response.

"Perhaps. But more important than petty revenge is you getting better because eventually President Snow will be disposed of and Panem will move on. You will still be alive and dealing with the same trauma as before. I think Katniss can help you. I think she would want to help you."

"She doesn't owe me anything," Katniss mumbled. "I made my choices to protect her and join the rebellion." That was something Johanna had explained several times to her, after every outreach attempt she had made. Nothing personal, nothing to get all sensitive about. We all make our choices.

"That may be true, but you shouldn't shirk any potential happiness." Happiness? Being her friend would make Johanna happy? She could just  _ask_  like a normal person. But no, she had to be difficult. Katniss had a hard time believing all Johanna needed to be happy was for them to be buddies. It seemed to make her happier to prod her verbally. He walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Just try it."

She exhaled an exaggerated sigh and nodded her head. "I will  _try_. No promises, doc."

* * *

Katniss was thankful that a phone call from Coin had cut short the session. In the few times Dr. Aurelius had been conscious during their sessions, he enjoyed digging into her past and dredging up memories she'd rather forget. She didn't want to touch Johanna's memories if she didn't have to.

Typically when she walked through the hallways of 13 someone acknowledged her. Ever since the successful return of the victors and her agreement to be the Mockingjay, people were more open with hellos or nods. But not toward Johanna. The residents gave her distrustful stares, people even seemed to be actively avoiding her. It was incredibly lonely.

She made her way down to the dungeon to find Beetee. She found him wheeling through a simulation meadow, nodding as targets dressed as peacekeepers appeared digitally and disappeared into the air. "Johanna," he greeted, giving a sidelong look toward a 13 resident operating the simulation. "Your axes are on the table."

Katniss retrieved the axes, delighted to feel like she normally did with her bow. The axe felt like a natural extension of her arm. She twirled it around as she had seen Johanna do in the arena. "These are incredible."

Beetee smiled proudly. "I've been watching videos of ... _your_  Games. I thought I could make the axes a bit more practical for street combat. Try it." Katniss hurled the axe at the digital Peacekeeper, burying the blade into his chest. "Retrieve it." Katniss went to the body and pulled out the axe. "Tell it to switch."

Katniss stared down at the axe and confusedly said, "Switch?" In her hands the axe transformed into a small rifle. Her eyes widened as another digital enemy approached and she quickly took him down with a few scattered rounds to the chest. Johanna wasn't a very good shot. "Wow."

"I haven't been able to make them retrievable like Finnick's trident yet. Not without potentially slicing your hand off." Beetle rolled over to a command counter and pressed a button. "That will be all, thank you." The 13 guard nodded and took her leave. Beetle rolled back to Katniss. "How are you?"

Katniss sighed. "Uncomfortable. I can't take a bath." Beetee winced and his face became more reserved as something Katniss was not privy to registered in him. "I have memories I can't make sense of. Dreams of voices screaming. A lot of fire." He frowned sympathetically. "Other than that, being Johanna has been pretty easy. Nobody's asked me to do anything."

Beered tipped his glasses down the bridge of his nose. "You know, maybe this will be cathartic for Johanna. She's so guarded, always has been. Perhaps now, armed with some knowledge of her, you could coax her back out. Once you're back in your own skin."

"I guess."

"I mean, she's certainly helped your reputation with Coin and Plutarch." Katniss's very surprised expression made Beetee smile. "Follow me." He wheeled over and out of the meadow simulation. Katniss followed with the axe in hand until they came to a small screen. With a few taps and swipes an image of Katniss was on the screen, surrounded by flame. "She did a propo with Cressida."

Katniss watched as she, or Johanna, rose from the flames. She gave an impassioned speech with such conviction Katniss almost believed she was really in the virtual flames and destruction they had built around her. Johanna was a natural. She had seen a glimpse of that during the Quell interviews. After easing Caesar in with the conversation about the "bond between the Districts and the Capitol" she had torn him down with her cussing out the entire system. Johanna was a manipulator, for better or for worse.

"I told her she could be the Mockingjay," Katniss said with a small frown as the screen went blank. Johanna was doing a better job of being Katniss than Katniss had done. Here she was telling off Finnick and upsetting Annie and Johanna was doing successful propos with Cressida. Maybe she should just stay as the Mockingjay until the rebellion was over. Katniss was better at loneliness than leadership.

Beetee must've sensed her thoughts as he placed his hand on her wrist. "I am working toward a cure. Trust me, as fascinating as this switch has been for me scientifically, I can't imagine what it's been like psychologically. They don't give me a lot of downtime here but I'm devoting every second to figuring this out."

Katniss nodded her head in understanding. "I know you are. Thank you."

* * *

The rest of Katniss's day went by slowly. She was alone at lunch; Finnick and Annie had gone to do some wedding preparation with Plutarch, and Beetee was probably working on the cure as he had promised. Johanna was laughing it up inside Katniss's body with Cressida and her camera team, looking happier than Katniss had ever felt in the district.

Katniss elected to ignore the rest of her day's activities in favor of retiring to their room; Johanna never adhered to the schedule anyway. As the Mockingjay she had felt so unbearably lonely, even with her family there. Before they rescued Peeta, though Gale was a supporting presence and Finnick did his best, it was so thoroughly lonely. No one understood what it meant to be a victor, to be a failure in protecting the one person she had sworn to do so. The desolation and the guilt were debilitating. With time, with his return - though he was not himself - and the help of Cressida and Haymitch, it had started to feel less like a pressure. There was a new goal in sight: killing Snow. Eventually they'd lead an assault on the Capitol, she'd break from the team, and she'd kill Snow.

Johanna didn't have those goals. She had nothing. There was no light at the end of her tunnel to work toward. There was just this rage and indignity that filled her stomach like a heavy stew. And the crippling loneliness. There was nothing in her compartment to call her own, no real friends. Who knows what she had waiting for her in 7? No wonder she was so keen on stealing morphling; it dulled the emotions that stuck to her like sharp-edged thorn bushes.

Some time after dinner Johanna returned to the compartment, ignoring Katniss's presence until she had washed her face in the bathroom, rubbing off the make-up she had been wearing since the morning. She yawned, stretching her limbs as Katniss watched from her bed, her eyes narrowed and inquisitive.

"What, Everdeen?" Johanna asked tiredly, hoisting herself up on the edge of the bed.

Katniss blinked a few times before hardening her stare. "Seems like you had a nice day."

Johanna raised her eyebrow in confusion. "Did it? I did get to be the Mockingjay. And again, I don't know why you complain all the time. Seemed pretty easy to me."

"Maybe you're just used to being a liar." Katniss watched as Johanna contorted her features into shock, then annoyance.

"Maybe you're too tied up in your head game to realize this is a sweet gig." Johanna swung her feet up and laid down on the bed, sliding her hands under her head. "You think too much. I can feel it. Every time I have a conversation I can feel your brain working overtime. You analyze everything, everyone."

Katniss scoffed. "So I should just whip off my clothes in front of everyone? Hm? Live without a thought to how my actions affect others?"

Johanna rolled on to her side, propping her head up on her palm, bent at the elbow. "No, brainless. You think I just do whatever I want? Is that what you did today?" Katniss's eyes dropped to the floor. "I just don't turn everything into a guilt game. Even your sister, you -"

"Don't you try and lecture me on Prim. You have spent one day with her, you barely know her."

" _You_ barely know her. You know nothing about anybody here. You're so wrapped up in yourself." Katniss was going to protest but her words died in her throat. Johanna had delivered the statement without any malice, which normally something like that would've been rife with. "They promoted your sister. They're training her to be a doctor."

"I know that," Katniss replied smugly.

"But do you know why?" Johanna raised her eyebrow. "Because she saved a man's life. Single-handedly. All the doctors were busy - some mental case had gone off the walls - and one of the older men here was having a heart attack. Your sister was able to keep him alive long enough to get another doctor. It was brilliant."

Katniss deflated into her mattress. She had no idea what Prim was doing; she never remembered to ask her about the hospital. She had been so focused on the rebellion, on Peeta, and then on Johanna, to remember her family. Her mother was in better spirits but Katniss didn't have even one conversation with her longer than the small one explaining that Johanna would be her roommate. "She's really great."

"Never mind about Messalla, Castor, Pollux." Johanna narrowed her eyes. "Do you know how Cressida got here? She and the rest of them had to hitch rides, hide in districts until they were able to catch a train that wasn't the Capitol's here. It took them months." Katniss remained silent and she heard Johanna scoff. "No wonder they looked at me like I had three heads when I asked them about themselves. You really don't talk to anyone, do you?"

The lights above them cut off and Katniss heard Johanna rustle in her sheets, the mattress squeaking beneath her. "Maybe you should just stay as the Mockingjay. Since you're doing such a better job of it."

"Please," Johanna replied into the darkness. "Don't give me that pity party. Besides I am not convinced you want to be me. I know what it's like to live in my skin. I'll give you your pretty little body back as soon as Volts figures this out." There was a long beat of silence. "Then me and Cressida are gonna have a talk."

"You and Cressida? Why?"

Katniss heard Johanna turn over and face away from her. "'Cos she's the second-best looking person in this hell hole and I definitely want to get to know her better. Maybe I'll see if she'll dance with me at the wedding." Johanna waited before rolling on to her back and anticipating a response. Finally she heard chuckling, then outright giggling coming from the other side of the room.

"God you are such a pain in the butt, Johanna. A perverse pain in the butt."

"I'm a 'pain in the butt?' That's the best you've got, Mockingjay?"

Katniss rolled over to look toward Johanna's bunk in the darkness. She caught the whites of her own eyes staring back at her amusedly. "I'm not the Mockingjay anymore, remember? I'm just Johanna Mason, District Seven. I like to strip down in elevators and slap people."

"Not people," Johanna clarified with a grin. "Just you."

They fell into a less tense silence and Katniss stared up at the ceiling. "Hey Jo?" She tentatively tried out the new nickname. When she didn't get something hurled at her she smiled and waited.

"Yeah?"

"If Cressida is the second best looking person in here, who's the first?"

Katniss heard her own low laugh and then the squeaking of the mattress as Johanna turned over again. "You're the one inside my head, brainless. Figure it out."

Katniss knew she could live inside Johanna's brain for a hundred years and still never understand the snarky victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long to update. I also appreciate the concern from everyone on my departure from tumblr but I assure you all is well. :)
> 
> I can't promise any consistency in terms of updating but I am around and working on things in bits and pieces.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with the story!


	3. The Wedding

The preparations for the wedding were more fraught with tension than Johanna thought they'd be. As she sat in the meeting next to Haymitch, she watched amusedly as Coin and Plutarch argued over every detail. Every crumb, every decoration, every single second was bargained for and negotiated. Plutarch got steaming mad, his puffy white face getting red with anger. "What's the point of doing a propo of no one is having any fun?"

"Who said weddings are fun?" Coin retorted, placing her hands on her hips. "It's a wedding. Say a few words, sign a piece of paper, get a new compartment, go back to bed." Coin's eyes narrowed. "This is not the Capitol."

Johanna laughed obstrusively at Coin's estimation of a wedding and all eyes turned to her. "Sorry, it's just, come on. Finnick and Annie have been through the ringer." Coin opened her mouth but Johanna kept going. "No. You don't understand. When you enter that arena, you never leave. Finnick will always be the young boy with the trident, standing alone in an arena. And he found the one thing - the one fucking thing - that makes living after your Games worthwhile." Everyone stared at her expectantly and she rolled her eyes. "Love. Snow stripped him of everything else he had to live for. Everything except her. And let's face it, she's not exactly in top shape." Johanna ignored the side eye from Haymitch. "Let him have this one night. This one thing. Get them some music, get them some streamers or whatever. Have a few pints of cider out for the adults. Give him this one night, because the Capitol has taken a lot of nights from him."

Coin watched Johanna with narrowed eyes for a few moments, and Johanna began to smile as she saw Coin's face relax. "Fine. One musician but he should have his own instrument or be able to make one. Decorations but the citizens will have to make them from whatever we have lying around. No cider. And I don't know how we'll get her a dress."

"Oh is she allowed to wear a dress now?" Plutarch questioned sarcastically, drawing a look of pure ire from Coin.

"I will," Johanna supplied. "From my clothes at home. Let me go back to Se-" Johanna coughed. "Let me go back to Twelve with Annie and we'll look at the dresses. Everyone knows this place could use some color since you didn't spare any expense on painting the walls." Johanna eyed the bare gray cement. "Finnick can wear one of Peeta's suits. Make that a propo too. Let the Capitol see Cinna's designs."

Effie smiled at Johanna from across the room. "It would be lovely to see something pretty."

Plutarch grinned happily from the corner of the room. In fact everyone seemed to be wearing a smile except Haymitch and Coin. But Johanna could see Coin start to crack a little. "So we'll send Cressida, Pollux, Castor, Johanna, Annie, Effie, Boggs, just in case. Perhaps the prep team?" Plutarch counted on his fingers. "There may not be enough seats."

Johanna smirked and rose from her chair, sauntering toward the door. "It's cool, we'll sit on each other's laps like in grade school. You don't mind sitting on my lap, right Cress?" Johanna winked. Cressida's eyes widened to comical levels as Johanna left the room, giving a nod to the guard at the door. Being Katniss was such a breeze. Though truthfully, she hadn't even been trying to be her anymore. People seemed to enjoy Katniss being more "out of her shell" so she had gone with it. Nobody was any wiser so really, no harm done.

It was only a few hours later when the hovercraft was ready to go, and Katniss ran down the corridor behind the group. "Hey wait!" Johanna turned around to see herself in her training gear running after them. "Where are you going?"

Johanna stepped forward. "To Twelve to let Annie pick out a dress. And pick up one of Peeta's old suits for Finnick."

Katniss furrowed her brows. "What? Why am I not going?"

Cressida tilted her head to the side. "Why would you come?"

"Soldier Mason, you're supposed to be out on the rifle range," Boggs added, crossing his arms over his chest.

Katniss looked between them all and then helplessly to Johanna. How could she? How could she take from her an opportunity to go back home? Even if it was just for a minute. "Right," she said dejectedly. "Mockingjay gets to see home and the rest of us will have to be content with seeing it in our dreams. Great. Well, godspeed." Katniss mockingly saluted them and turned around to walk back into Thirteen. How thoroughly selfish of Johanna to not even suggest she come! She could've done it. Katniss had gotten her the special privilege of the compartment and was able to get her into training.

Johanna couldn't even be bothered to let her see her own home.

* * *

The familiar walk down the corridor to the one way mirror felt strange inside Johanna's skin. Katniss didn't feel the anxious clenching of her heart. The doctors didn't seem to be surprised to see Johanna there either, much to Katniss's surprise. A few of them even greeted her by name. The whole process was much less draining than it normally was when she snuck off to watch the boy with the bread.

Peeta was sitting in a white chair, pastry bag in hand, in front of a cart with an unfrosted white cake. Hers and Johanna's memories were tied together, muddled in the back of her head like sludge at the lake bottom. But somewhere in there she could see Peeta in the bakery window, the same intense concentration on his face. She remembered days of watching him paint in her family book, in some of the few normal moments they had ever had. That boy was forever lost to her.

But where she usually felt guilt and a nostalgic longing, there was a sadness and something sharp inside her stomach. Something with a crisp edge to it. Katniss held on to the sill of the window as a montage of moments flooded her brain. Her first carriage ride in the Games, kissing Peeta in the cave, his proposal on stage, the Tour speech in 2, the beach in the arena. All of it, but through another eye. Fuzzy, like an out of reception Captiol broadcast. All of those memories with the touch of sharpness that Katniss vaguely remembered from when Gale was whipped. Imagining him with another girl, forced to marry her. The immediate jealousy that rose inside her and choked her throat. It's almost laughable to think of how much simpler things seemed when it was Gale and Peeta fighting for her affection.

It didn't take a head doctor to know those were Johanna's memories of her and Peeta. But the jealous undercurrent that sucked at every one of those memories was what made her stop in her tracks. Johanna was jealous? Jealous of what? Of her Games? That she had Peeta? That seemed reasonable enough; it had been much easier to go through with someone else. Johanna had even said it herself.  _Jealousy is certainly involved_. Imagining the small, miserable girl she had seen during the 71st Hunger Games on her Victory Tour train alone made Katniss even more depressed than she was. She walked around to his door and the guard on duty nodded. "Solider Mason."

"Hi," Katniss replied softly. "Is it okay if I go in there?"

The guard smirked. "Hasn't stopped you before. Go ahead." He opened the door and walked in behind her. The click of their military boots snapped Peeta's attention up from the cake. Katniss was immediately struck by how clear and focused his gaze was. A long distance from the seething, maddened, wild boy who had clutched her throat, desperate to squeeze the life from her. "Mr. Mellark you have a visitor."

"Johanna." Katniss nearly cried at the sound of his clear, steady voice. It was especially heartbreaking to know it wasn't for her. "Good to see you."

She shot a look back at the guard. She wanted to be alone with him. Say something Johanna. Something sassy. "You can step out. Bread Boy and I are good friends."

Peeta scoffed but he had on a small smile. "I wouldn't call us friends exactly," he explained to the guard.

"Allies?" Katniss supplied.

"Better." The guard left the room and Katniss pulled over a chair near Peeta, but just out of arm's reach. He took a note of their distance with a drop of his eyes and shrugged. "Is Finnick looking forward to the wedding?" He turned his attention back to the cake, drawing even, beautiful lines with the frosting.

Katniss nodded. "Very much. They went to Twelve today to get a dress for Annie and one of your suits for Finnick." This caused him to pause so sharply Katniss held her breath, but she relaxed when he shook it off and kept frosting the cake.

Peeta looked more pensive than usual, and his hand stilled on the cake. "Johanna may I ask you something?" She made a motion for him to continue. "My memories of the arena, the last one, aren't as messed up as the ones from my first. But you were..." His face scrunched in thought. Katniss felt the anxiety panging in her chest. She didn't know anything about what they went through when they were captured. Selfishly she had never asked. "What happened with Katniss? In the arena? I'm trying to make my memories fit and I can't be sure what they showed me was the truth."

 _That_  she remembered. Though her head injury had made the memories short circuit sometimes, that she could recall. But now that the memory belonged to them both, it made a small headache form in her brain to see it. Two very distinct memories, boh colored in different emotions. She tried to zero in on the memory of her own face staring up at her. To see that event through Johanna's eyes, because even at the current level of their "friendship," that moment still made her fearful of the District 7 victor.

She remembered the heat of her body beneath Johanna's own, the smell of blood, the overwhelming feeling of concern and ache. The pounding fear as she looked up and saw two figures galloping toward them. "I carried the coil for a while so she could watch my back. The coil got taut and snapped and I knew they were coming. I had to get the tracker out of her, that was my objective, so I knocked her out."

He nodded solemnly. "That's what I figured."

"Seems strange," Katniss heard herself saying. "You in here and me out there."

Peeta chuckled. "On the surface, I suppose. But you were tying to protect her. You're still trying, being her roommate now and all. I used to try to do that too."

Katniss moved her gaze to the ground in both shame and sadness. Peeta and Johanna made an unlikely pair of allies. Peeta brought a steady calm to everything, like a slowly lapping sea. Johanna was a maelstrom who deliberately brought you down just so she could bring you back up. "What happened to you isn't your fault. You did protect her. They fucked you up, kid. It was only a matter of time before they got to you too."

The blond boy shook his head and Katniss watched his shoulders move a little with a slight laugh. How nice it was to see him so unguarded, like the boy she had in the arena. "I like when you visit. You don't mince words." Katniss suddenly had a throbbing headache as she remembered something she never saw: Peeta and Johanna interacting at the training center. They were the hammock station where Katniss met with Cashmere and Gloss, chatting amicably. Peeta laughs his light laugh and Johanna a low, genuine one. It smashes with her own memory of Johanna from that time that she barely remembered on a good day: them at lunch before the evaluation. They - all the victors - were joking about what to do. Cashmere suggested she would sing, Gloss shot her down. Peeta suggests Chaff tell some dirty jokes. And then:

_"What about you, Johanna?" Cashmere asks, pointing her fork in the other girl's direction._

_"Oh Johanna can strip," Katniss supplies in a deadpan. Johanna's face is alight with surprise but that deep twinkle is in her eyes. "Don't you remember? Why am I the only one that gets the free show?"_

_Everyone at the table laughs - Chaff nearly spits out his drink - and Johanna doesn't back down. "I could do that, but I don't think they earned that show."_

_The table resumes taking, but Katniss keeps her eyes on Johanna. "And what did I do to earn that show?" It's supposed to sound like a whine but it comes out far too genuine._

_Johanna smirks and leans in conspiratorially. "You intrigue me, girl on fire." With that she stabs someone else's plate - Finnick's - and eats some of his pasta, chewing slowly and never breaking eye contact until Katniss diverts her attention._

Katniss shook her head and leveled her gaze back on Peeta. He looked a touched concerned. "Just a small flashback to our training center days," Katniss explained with a small rueful smile. Peeta mirrored her smile and returned his attention to the cake.

"I tried to get Katniss to ally with you, you know," he said slowly. His eyes never left the cake but he continued to speak. It almost looked cathartic for him to recall something that didn't immediately make him hate her. Either that, or he was getting marginally better. "She  _immediately_  didn't like you."

Katniss snorted. "I have that effect on people." It was hard to remember, but she didn't instantly dislike Johanna. She disliked the strange churning in her gut she got when she saw her nude. She disliked the lightning bolts that shot to her fingertips when Johanna's brown eyes stared into hers. She disliked how aggressive she was because it brought out an aggressive side of Katniss that reminded her of her father.

Peeta shook his head. "Not me. I could see it. You're a good person. You didn't deserve what happened to you."

Katniss was unsure if he meant after her Games - the implied prostitution and subsequent death of all her loved ones - or the torture. In either estimation he wasn't wrong. "Neither did you," she replied genuinely. She remembered something Johanna had said to her. "The arena fucked us all up pretty good, don't you think?"

"Not just the arena. Katniss." Katniss looked warily toward Peeta, who finally looked up from his cake. He noticed the expression on her face. "No, not like that. It's easier now... to separate what they put in there and what's real. Sometimes. Sometimes I get flashes but, I'm getting better." Katniss nodded, hoping that her eyes weren't wet with tears. "The effect she can have. She has no idea. Even without the arena, my life was never the same after I saw her. For better or for worse," he said detachedly. "You've been rooming with her a bit now, right? Don't you think so?"

Katniss was too startled by this coherent, calm Peeta that she almost didn't answer him. She also didn't think she had an effect on Johanna other than being annoying and generally unpleasant. "Mostly I just find her annoying."

Peeta laughed and returned his attention to the frosting. He switched to green and Katniss widened her eyes at the unfrosted cake began taking the form of an ocean. "Yeah, she's that too. Stubborn."

"Super stubborn," Katniss agreed, keeping her eyes on the cake. She glanced at the wall to find a clock but there was none in sight. Probably to help Peeta keep a clear mind and not worry about how long he'd been in complete isolation. "I should probably get going. They'll be back from Twelve soon."

Peeta nodded his head. "Hey Johanna?" She looked over at him. "Thank Katniss for me for suggesting I do the cake. It's been nice to do something normal with my hands for once." He stared down with his pale blue eyes on his hands, which were red in the palms, probably from him gripping his fists so hard. "And don't give her such a hard time, okay? She could use a friend." The last part was said with a bit of humor and Katniss smirked.

"I don't know about friends. Maybe allies." Peeta smiled at her. "Fine, Bread Boy. You just get back to that cake." She smiled at Peeta and left the room as unobtrusively but quickly as she could. Once she was out of the sight line of the guards she backed against the wall and shuddered, letting the tears fall. The boy with the bread that loved her was in there somewhere, but a large part of her - a part of her that she hated - didn't want him back. She wanted him healthy, yes. But she didn't want to get back on the train around Panem anymore. She wanted to make her own path. She wanted to feel that excited churning in her stomach. Something, she realized uneasily, didn't come from Peeta. Or Gale.

This was not good.

* * *

They returned from Twelve a few hours later under nightfall, with Annie happily cradling a new dress and the prep team excited to make alterations on Peeta's suit for Finnick. Johanna watched Cressida's footage as they walked back in through the hangar and into the elevator. It was simple stuff; just some of Annie's excited face, of the plethora of evening gowns Cinna had made for her, of the only half-destroyed Victor's Village. It was easy to Johanna to look unaffected by the damage because she was. This was not her home. It didn't stop her from snooping around, but it did stop her from looking overly emotional.

When she arrived back in the compartment, she found Prim and Katniss sitting on her bed, chatting in low tones. There was something rather intimate about the way they were sitting that made Johanna narrow her eyes. The look on Katniss's face - on  _her_ face - made it apparent. She closed the door behind her and strode over to them. "You told the kid?"

Katniss shrugged. "I had to tell someone. And Prim can be trusted."

Prim nodded in agreement. "I'm not going to tell anyone. Besides, who's going to believe me?" She raised a pale eyebrow and Johanna pursed her lips. She wasn't wrong but it still made her uneasy. The last thing she wanted was for her right to go to the Capitol revoked because of this body-swapping nonsense. "I really believed you were Katniss."

Johanna grinned. "Thanks. I think I do a good impression of our dear Mockingjay." Katniss glared at her as Johanna rummaged in the ruck sack over her shoulder. "By the way I found something for you, kid." Johanna pulled out a small doll and a picture of Prim atop her father's shoulders. Prim's wide blue eyes welled with tears and she hugged Johanna around her stomach. "Easy, you know Delicate Daisy over here has sore ribs."

Prim bounced on her heels in excitement. "I'm gonna go show Mom. Bye Katniss! Bye Jo!" She skittered out of the room and closed the door behind her, leaving them alone once more.

Johanna moved the bag over her head and got up on the bed next to Katniss, shifting backward. She placed the bag next to her and looked over at the brunette. Her hand reached into the sack and withdrew a small box that she handed to Katniss without looking at her. "What's this?" Katniss questioned warily, taking the box from her.

"Just open it, brainless." Johanna watched out of the corner of her eye as Katniss slowly opened the small box and pulled out the object inside. While she was in the Everdeen home she had found a ribbon in her mother's room, several in Prim's, and one in Katniss's. She wove them together and knotted them at the ends, making a hair tie for her. "It's just something stupid."

Katniss couldn't speak. The gift was ...so thoughtful. The colors, green, orange and blue, complemented each other and were woven into such a pretty, delicate braid not unlike the one her mother did in her hair. Her eyes went to Johanna who was fidgeting next to her, and she smiled. "It's not stupid. It's really nice. How did you learn to tie a knot like this?"

Johanna shrugged. "I sort of moved around a lot after my Games. After Snow..." Her eyes darkened. "I lived in Four with Finnick for a little while. Mags used to teach me all sorts of intricate knots. She said it was soothing." Johanna furrowed her eyebrows. "Well I think she said it was soothing. She talked like she had rocks in her mouth most of the time." Katniss expelled a laugh and nudged Johanna, returning her gaze to the gift. "Look, I'm sorry you didn't get to come with us. I didn't do it in purpose."

"No, it's okay. It wouldn't have made sense for me... for  _you_  to go. And that place drags up bad memories." Memories she could barely recall at the moment. 12 felt as far away as the moon to her in Johanna's skin. "Did you feel it?"

Johanna nodded. "A little. Nothing more than what I usually feel. Guilt, loneliness, sadness." She smirked. "You're a real ball of sunshine, Everdeen."

"I could say the same for you,  _Mason_ ," Katniss shot back with a grin. "You were right." Johanna raised her eyebrow. "When you said you couldn't be the Mockingjay because people didn't like you. You're right, they don't. It's lonely."

Johanna snorted and leaned back on her palms. Of course nobody liked her. She made no attempt to make friends. Long-lasting friendships aren't on the top of the list of things a victor needs or wants. "Surprise, surprise."

Katniss spoke slowly. "I think if they knew you, knew what you had been through, maybe they would."

Johanna's entire demeanor darkened considerably. "And you think you know me now?" She let out a short, high-pitched laugh that despite coming from Katniss's vocal chords, sounded an awful lot like Johanna. "I'm not a pity case."

Katniss sighed exasperatedly and used her free hand to place it over Johanna's. "I know you're not. I'm not saying that. I'm saying people like me because they saw what I went through; my entire life was on national television for the last year. It's not like anyone cares about me, about Katniss. It's about the Mockingjay. About the rebellion. I'm saying I understand how lonely it is, but most people don't. And I'm saying that I want to be your friend, if you'd let me."

For a moment, a fleeting moment like the flap of a bird's wing, Katniss saw the vulnerability on Johanna's features. Just as quickly as it had appeared it dissipated into smoke. "Who asked you to be friends?" she asked scathingly, sliding off the bed and out of Katniss's grasp.

"But -"

"But what?" Johanna asked, whirling around, eyes narrowed. Katniss was sure she had never looked so threatening before. It seemed like every day when she looked at herself since the switch, she looked more and more like Johanna.

"Nothing." Dr. Aurelius was wrong, Katniss thought. Johanna didn't want to be friends. "Dr. Aurelius is a stinking idiot." Her eyes widened as Johanna's gaze moved ever so slowly from the ground up to meet her.

"Excuse me?" Johanna took a step forward toward Katniss on the bed. A wave of ...something shot through Katniss and settled deep inside her stomach, then a few inches lower. "You went to the appointment with my shrink? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Katniss shrugged weakly. "It was on your schedule. I didn't say -" She cut herself off as she watched her own features contort into an anger she was sure she hadn't felt since Gale told her 12 was gone. "I didn't say anything. And you - you're always taking baths!"

Johanna growled. "Seeing you naked is not the same as going to my fucking head doctor appointment!" She placed her hand on her forehead where she began to feel a headache forming. "What else did you do, hm? Go through my personal file? Call Snow for a play by play of how exactly he fucked up my life?"

Katniss shook her head. "I went and saw Peeta." Johanna's anger quickly flamed out. A look of concern overtook her features. She hated how quickly Katniss could cull empathy from her. "He told me to tell me - well, you really - thanks for letting him decorate the cake." Her voice cracked. "He looked much better."

"Ah shit, Everdeen." Johanna went back toward the bed and sat down, shuffling backward. Her knee was against Katniss's, touching just lightly. She inhaled a deep breath, looking across the room toward her empty bed. "I see him a little bit. Ever since the day at lunch when he, you know." Johanna made a motion with her hands like he did - the clenching and spasming. "I felt like I owed him."

"Because of the Capitol? Or the arena?"

Johanna nodded sagely. "He was coming to find you. But he found me running from Eno and Brutus and he took Brutus down. That's when the hovercraft came." Johanna put on a sardonic smile. "That's when the hovercraft came I thought we were gonna be okay." Johanna narrowed her eyes. The memory was so faint. She saw flashes of the arrow firing into the sky, piercing the arena's domed ceiling. The fire. The pain in her arm. "Fuck, Beetee needs to fix this. I want  _my_  memories back." She paused. "Well not all of them."

Katniss let out a sad chuckle. "Yeah, me too. There are some I wish we could just lose." They let a pensive pause fall between them before Katniss perked up. "Except I did remember that lunch before the evaluations. When I suggested you strip for the Gamemakers."

Johanna let out a low, long chuckle that almost sounded like herself. She leaned back on her elbows and settled her gaze on Katniss. "You surprised me that day, Twelve. We had all pegged you as such a prude and yet there you were, thinking about me naked."

Katniss threw her head back in laughter and shifted so she was sitting up against the wall, facing Johanna who was stretched across the bed. "We were suggesting talents. You had no others I could see."

Johanna raised her eyebrow. "Oh? So my nudity is a talent?" Johanna whistled and smirked. "I guess we were wrong about you. You're not as pure as they think." When she thought about the training center, it usually reminded her of her torture. But in Katniss's mind, her memories, they were fresh and tinted sort of blue. For a moment she saw herself whirling the axe, lodging it deep into the malleable training surface, eyes locking with Katniss's.  _Wanna play?_ The shot of arousal that went straight down her abdomen to her crotch made her eyes fly open and look at Katniss.

Before Johanna could question her further a knock on the door interrupted them. "Come in," she called toward the door. Haymitch shuffled in the room, checking the hallway behind him before closing the door softly. He walked over to the two girls, looking between them. "And to what do we owe this pleasure?"

Haymitch smirked. "How are we going to play this, Katniss?" He asked, looking directly into her eyes. Johanna's eyes. They both looked at each other in alarm as he crossed his arms over his chest and widened his stance. "I took a trip to see Beetee today while you were in Twelve. Asked him a few questions. He was very forthcoming." They stared at him in wide-eyed silence. "Now do I have to explain to you both how stupid this is?"

"It's not her fault," Johanna replied with a roll of her eyes. Haymitch tilted his head. "I was fucking around with Volts and Katniss was trying to stop me. As per usual she was playing the hero and sticking her nose into business that did not pertain to her."

"And as usual, Johanna was causing trouble for no reason other than she's mentally deranged." Johanna shot Katniss a glare and Haymitch lifted his hands.

"I don't care whose fault it was. I just want to make sure this hasn't left this room. Do you have any idea how livid President Coin would be? Not to mention, this technology? It is  _very_ unstable. It was so unstable even the Capitol didn't want to use it." He moved his eyes to Katniss's gray ones, knowing Johanna was looking back at him. "And you know how the Capitol values lives."

Johanna's throat bobbed and she nodded her head. "Volts knows. And Katniss's sister now." Haymitch rolled his eyes exasperatedly and Johanna placed her hands on her hips. "Oh relax. Who is she going to tell? And how would she prove it?"

"Either way, this needs to get fixed." Katniss looked over at Haymtich, sensing the unsaid words in his tone. When his pale blue gaze settled on her he grimaced. "Beetee is concerned about something he called a 'bleeding effect.' If you stay like this too long, your memories may bleed into each other and we wouldn't even know how to begin untangling them. It would be like mixing red and green paint and then trying to suck all the red out. You'd just have brown goo."

Katniss's eyes widened in panic. "What did he say? Is he close to figuring this out?"

Haymitch shrugged. "I don't know. He went on about the soul, the tangible fathoms of your subconscious and other crazy shit." He noted both girls' despondent demeanors and sighed. "But he is working on it. He's building a similar device that he hopes will reverse the process. But it's not without risk."

Johanna snorted. "What is without risk?"

"And you," he began, pointing his finger at Johanna. "You need to cut it out with the attitude. I appreciate what you've been doing as the Mockingjay but your other behavior has been a giant red flag. Coin asked me if you were on medication."

Katniss slid off the bed and nudged Johanna on the shoulder. "What have you been doing?"

"Nothing!" Johanna denied, but the faint appearance of a blush on her cheeks made Katniss grab her bicep and whirl her around to face her. "Get off me!"

Katniss looked to Haymitch. "What has she been doing?" Her voice lowered. "Is it Gale?"

Johanna cackled in laughter and wrenched her arm away from Katniss. "The handsome cousin? No. Have barely seen him, outside of Command. And lunch. And some training." She smirked devilishly. "I guess I have seen him a lot."

Haymitch stepped in between them and put his hand on Johanna's body, pushing Katniss away. Katniss he could control, even though he was looking into Johanna's eyes. He could almost see Katniss inside them. "Relax. You two need to settle down and get a hold of yourselves." He heaved a deep sigh. "Now Finnick's wedding is tomorrow night. You'll probably have some training in the morning but the rest of the afternoon is yours. Use it to keep yourselves together. Or, apart, really."

"If Johanna can stop taking ridiculously long baths," Katniss accused from around Haymitch's side.

"Aw, why? What am I gonna do? Afraid I'll uncork how tightly fucking wound up you are?" Johanna taunted, head titled to the left. Katniss lunged at her but Haymitch caught her by the arms.

His eyes widened in surprise. "What the hell is wrong with you two? You're like two spoiled children! Get it together or I'll have you both put back in the hospital. Then you can explain to Coin what happened and say good-bye to going to the Capitol." The blond mentor shook his head as he exited their compartment, slamming the door behind him.

Johanna and Katniss stood alone in the room, shooting daggers at each other from just a few feet away. Johanna broke eye contact first, dropping her gaze to the ground. "I have to go to the Capitol," she muttered under her breath. "Even if I have to kill a crew and fly there myself."

Katniss looked up amusedly, letting a very small smile form on her lips. "At least I know I'll have a ride." Katniss recognized the look in her own eyes - truce. A few beats passed between them before she spoke. "I'm sorry about going to your appointment. I swear I didn't do it to be a bitch."

"I know you didn't," Johanna replied resignedly. Katniss raised her eyebrow in surprise. "You're not that type of person. I mean, maybe  _I_  am and Volts is right, it's bleeding together but..." Her eyes couldn't hold Katniss's so she dropped them to the ground. "There's just a lot about me that he knows that I'm not sure I want you to know. At least not yet." Katniss was momentarily confused but Johanna didn't allow her time to ask a question. "I know you wouldn't do that. You're a good person. Even if you're annoying as shit like more than half the time."

Katniss chuckled and retrieved the ribbon Johanna had made for her, threading it between her fingers. "Between that compliment and the ribbon, I'm going to start to get the wrong idea about you," Katniss teased. Johanna furrowed her eyebrows. "I might start thinking you hate me a little less than you say."

Johanna laughed genuinely at this, poking Katniss in the shoulder with her forefinger. The tension began to leave their bodies, and the room, and Johanna retreated back to her bed and sat down on the edge. "It's weird, you know, to feel how you feel when you see people. When I see Haymitch I normally feel -"

"Kind of disgusted," Katniss finished with a knowing glance.

Johanna smirked. "Yeah. I like the guy, he's good people. But the stench of alcohol and the fact that before you he was such a massive failure as a mentor makes me kinda hate him. That and him being the designer behind your tacky romance drama."

"I felt that way too. Before all this." It was hard to remember but Johanna nodded.

"I know, I feel it. When I look at him now, I sort of feel like... kind of like I'm with my father. Or maybe an uncle that's close to the family. The same way you feel about Gale." Katniss widened her eyes and Johanna waved her off. "Don't freak out it's not like I did anything. I looked at him and I didn't feel sparks. It was platonic. I thought you and the cuz were bumping uglies." Johanna stopped herself. "Well not really because shit, kid, you're way uptight. But you know, at least something."

"I really don't want to hear this," Katniss said drolly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'm just saying it was a surprise. Rooming with you I figured I'd have to be beating guys away from the door. Gale, Peeta, whoever. Hell, even that little mouse-voiced girl from your District speaks your praises." Katniss chortled and rolled her eyes at Johanna's scenarios. Delly Cartwright could be a little effusive. It was fair.

"What, are you jealous?" Katniss teased.

Johanna snorted. "I don't know. You're the one in my body. How does it feel?" The challenge in Johanna's eyes caught her off-guard and her body reacted strongly. She heard her heartbeat in her ears for a moment, and then felt it between her legs. It was so strong. Johanna smirked and laid down on her bed, picking up one of the scattered military volumes and losing herself in the chapters. Beetee needed to solve this soon because Katniss couldn't tell whose reactions she was feeling, but either way, something was going to happen and she was very unprepared for it.

* * *

Even though Coin had forbade alcohol, somehow someone snuck a few pints of cider into the ceremony and there was even one bottle of wine. Johanna drank almost an entire pint herself and within just an hour into the dancing, she was pretty drunk. She held it together for Prim, dancing with the young girl for the cameras and even exchanging a few dances with Gale. It was the first fun time she had since probably before her own reaping. Everything since then felt like being on a train in a tunnel, waiting to emerge back into the light.

Johanna found Katniss on the outskirts of the crowd, talking with Beetee. She sandwiched herself in between them and threw her arm around Katniss. "Everdeen, you're such a lightweight." She hiccuped and let out a small burp and Katniss's eyes went wide at the immediate smell of fermented fruits that went into her nostrils.

"You got me drunk?" Katniss asked in a seething whisper. "Johanna!"

"Oh relax," Johanna purred. "I won't do anything scandalous. Come dance with me." She took Katniss by the hands and rubbed her knuckles softly. The look Katniss shot her, somewhere between desire and annoyance, was strikingly familiar. Katniss pulled her hands back and shook her head. "No? Guess I'll have to find someone else." Her eyes landed on Beetee who also shook his head. "Right, Volts, like what am I gonna do? Wheel you around? I'll find someone more mobile."

Katniss rolled her eyes and continued to watch everyone dance. She desperately wanted to dance with her sister but it would be weird for Johanna to approach the young girl. And she was busy right now with one of Gale's brothers so she relegated herself to the side of the crowd, clapping along. Her eyes scanned along the dance floor until she was stopped dead by the sight of herself - okay, Johanna, but it was still her body - dancing some sort of square dance with Cressida. The blonde director was unsure of the moves by the awkward way she positioned her body but Johanna was more than obliging. Her hand was on her hip, guiding her movements. The reaction inside Johanna's body that Katniss felt was immediate and powerful. Stronger than what she had felt being stared down in the compartment. It was as easy to identify as the sun in the sky. It was pure, straight jealousy.

Johanna giggled as Cressida finally got going with the dance. "I guess they don't teach you much square dancing in the Capitol?" Johanna teased, leading Cressida in the small circle of dancers.

She shook her head. "More like waltzing. More structured dancing," she explained, looking down at their feet and following as best she could. "Is this what you do in Twelve?"

Johanna shrugged. "I don't fuckin' know." Cressida narrowed her eyes in confusion and Johanna laughed again. "You're a rebel, right? You can keep a secret?" Cressida looked at her warily but nodded her head. Johanna leaned in, holding the side of her head against Cressida's ear. "I'm not Katniss."

Cressida pulled back. "You're...  _not_  Katniss." Johanna nodded. "I think you might have drank too much. I hope President Coin doesn't know you drank this much. Or at all."

"No no no," Johanna said, shaking her head. "You're not getting it. I'm not drunk." Cressida raise a pale brow and Johanna rolled her eyes. "Okay, I am a little but that's not what I'm saying. I went into the lab that Volts works in and he had this little contraption. Me and the Mockingjay had a little incident and the thing went off in our hands. Came to and I was inside Everdeen's body."

Cressida blinked rapidly, stopping her feet on the dance floor and pulling Johanna toward the wall. Her voice lowered. "Are you telling me the truth?" Her bright eyes were large and alarmed, darting around to see if they were within earshot of anyone. Between the music and the clapping it was hard to hear anything.

"Of course I am," Johanna responded, leaning her palm on the wall and bracing her weight.

"So then who are you?"

"Johanna," she said, extending her hand in almost a handshake. "Johanna Mason, District Seven."

Cressida took her hand and shook it, confused still as plain as day on her face. "The victor who Katniss volunteered to room with." Her eyes ran around the room until she saw Johanna - or Katniss? - staring at them from next to Beetee. "And Katniss is then, inside your body?"

Johanna nodded. "Yup. Been like this a few days. Volts is working on a cure. A reversal, I guess. Something about mixing paints, I don't know." She waved her hand in the air dismissively.

Cressida placed her hand on her forehead. "Who else knows about this?"

Johanna counted off on her fingers. "Me, Katniss obviously. Volts, Haymitch somehow figured it out. And Katniss's little sister Prim." She looked at her hand. "Five people?"

Cressida sighed, taking her tongue between her teeth and tugging on it. "That explains your behavior in the meetings." Johanna pursed her lips and Cressida gave her a glower. "I thought it was out of character for Katniss to ask me if I was 'getting it on' with one of my cameramen."

"She's such a tight-ass right?" Johanna asked and Cressida offered no response, she just continued to glare at her. "Well you don't really know me, but I can assure you I'm not."

"No, I imagine the woman who offered to let me sit on her lap in front of President Coin wouldn't be as prudish."

"The offer still stands, you know." Johanna leered at Cressida who placed her hand on Johanna's sternum and pushed her back an inch or two. "When I'm back in my own body, obviously."

Before Cressida could open her mouth a hand wrapped around Johanna's bicep and turned her around. Katniss stood there, eyes aflame, glancing between the two of them. "We should probably get more footage of the Mockingjay dancing for Snow, hm?" she asked Cressida, raising her eyebrow. Without waiting for a response Katniss dragged Johanna onto the dance floor. She entwined their fingers and wrapped her arm around her waist, tugging them closer. Dalton had slowed the music down a bit but it was still somewhat lively. "What are you doing?"

"What am I doing? I was talking to Cressida before you rudely interrupted me." Katniss glared at her and Johanna's lip quirked upward. "You're jealous."

"What?" Katniss sputtered.

"Um, Katniss, I know what I look like when I'm jealous." Katniss scowled at her and Johanna tilted her head back and let out a small laugh. Johanna's eyes moved over to their clasped hands and saw the ribbon she had made was wrapped around Katniss's wrist. She smiled gently. "You're wearing the ribbon."

Katniss eyed the ribbon and gave Johanna a very quick, very small smile. "I'm not jealous," she mumbled unconvincingly, cheeks aflame. She wished she was in her own body as blush was easier to conceal with her darker skin. Johanna was so pale - not just genetically but also from the weeks of torture - that it was clear she was exactly as jealous as Johanna thought.

"Oh? Don't forget, Twelve, I'm inside you too. I feel what you feel when I do, oh I don't know, this?" She pulled their bodies flush together and Katniss took in a sharp intake of breath. Their bodies were so warm - her own body particularly so from all the alcohol Johanna had drank illegally - that her mind ran sluggishly as she grappled with the strange, but not unfamiliar feelings of arousal. Katniss shook her hands away and pulled out of Johanna's grasp.

"Just stop it. This is - this is not okay." She extricated herself from Johanna and walked off the dance floor. To her surprise, a hand came and grabbed her own before she could reach the crowd.

"Katniss," her voice called gently. She turned around to catch Johanna's eyes boring into her own. "All this aside," she gestured with her free hand, "I think you know that when we switch back, you and I are going to have a talk."

The context of the talk was clear - the attraction that they felt between them that Katniss was totally unprepared for. "Didn't you say you were going to have a talk with Cressida?" she teased, both to alleviate the serious look in her eyes and to deflect Johanna's intent.

It did neither. "I won my Games, brainless. I'm a victor. Do you think I'm going to settle for second-best?" She cocked an eyebrow. "Not if I have a shot at first."

Katniss's eyes widened as Johanna let her hand go and retreated back into the crowd. She was wrong. She wouldn't need one hundred years to understand Johanna, because the older girl was blatant. Katniss had just been reading her wrong and it took an entire swapping of souls for her to register what she meant.

An excited but rather unsettling feeling tumbled inside her stomach. Johanna ...liked her. Or at the very least, was attracted to her. And then the real bombshell pounded on her head as she got back to their compartment. She was pretty sure the feeling was mutual.

* * *

Author's Note: Hi all! I hope everyone has a happy holiday and a fabulously awesome new year. Thank you for all the new reviews and follows!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And of course the customary thank you to johannas-motivational-insults for providing much needed beta and sounding of ideas. :)


	4. The Promise

"Twelve, wake up!"

There was so much screaming. The smell of searing flesh. The shouting of a name she barely recognized. The jungle. Thick hot rain pouring into her mouth.

"Everdeen come on!"

 _That voice_. Sunlight burst in the arena and soaked Katniss in warmth for a moment. The earth beneath her feet began shaking.

"Katniss! You're dreaming! Wake up!"

The jungle melted into pine trees as high as the sky. A dark-haired man swinging from a rope around his neck dangled in front of her. A raven-haired girl who looked like Johanna but with spearmint green eyes was sitting up against the trunk of a tree, blood oozing from her neck like a ruby necklace. More screaming. An arena with lots of slate and rocks, blood splattering everywhere, bones crunching.

Katniss allowed herself to be roused from her nightmare and she went completely rigid, staring up at the ceiling, her lungs burning from the rapid intake of breath. Her vision was obscured by a tiny frame above her. Her face, staring down at her with sweaty concern. The concern melted into relief when Katniss's breathing returned to normal and her eyes less dilated. Johanna resettled her body with her legs arched over Katniss's prone form, her back against the wall. "That was a rough one. Was it one of mine?"

Katniss nodded, still unable to form coherent words. Of all Johanna's nightmares - and there were plenty - the ones revolving around her family were the worst. She didn't know what was reality and what was the cruel imagination of the dream world but it was always awful. President Snow was often present in the dreams with blood falling from his mouth, head thrown back and cackling. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

Johanna dismissed her with a wave of her hand. "Your dreams are no better, trust me. If I have to see that mousey Career from your first games another time I'm going to dig up her body and kill her again myself." Katniss shuddered involuntarily at the memory. She had a vague notion of Clove in her brain but Johanna's memories of her games were pushing it out. Thinking of Clove poised over her, running the blade over her mouth made her feel angry as Johanna whereas her memories of her interaction with Clove as Katniss made her scared. Johanna noticed her expression change and offered a soft smile. "I watched your games. The whole thing."

"So did everyone else."

Johanna shook her head and rolled her eyes in exasperation. "No, brainless,  _your_ games. I was a mentor that year, of course." Katniss's eyes grew large involuntarily. "Relax, they were idiots. Got whacked off right at the Bloodbath. Funny, I can barely remember their faces now."

"I can see them," Katniss replied softly. "I don't remember them much from my games. Seemed small, both of them. I was paying more attention to not dying. And Rue."

Johanna's smile dropped. "That girl did more for this rebellion than any of us, you know that?" Katniss pushed herself up from her sleeping position, arranging her pillow so she could sit against the wall. Their legs made an intimate little 't' shape across the bed. "If it weren't for her, you'd never have survived or found Peeta. And if she hadn't been so... so pure of heart, she wouldn't have caused the outrage she did. Her death pushed you. It still pushes you. And we all know you need a push a lot of the time."

"I owe her a lot."

Johanna placed her hand over Katniss's and squeezed it. "We  _all_  owe her a debt. You were too brainless to figure out that the Careers had trapped the Cornucopia on your own. Plus you went and got yourself stung by all those tracker-jackers and had Peeta not gotten Cato off your trail and Rue not gotten you the herbs, you would've been finished." Katniss watched the almost proud look on Johanna's face. "You really surprised me."

"Did I?"

"It's hard for me to remember - the bleeding or whatever - but I watched everything. I watched your reaping. I've never seen someone look that brave and that fucking scared in my entire life." Johanna paused, placing a hand on her own stomach. "And now I can feel it. The courage, the fear. Mostly the fear." Her voice dropped off and Katniss squeezed her hand in return, urging her to continue. "Anyway, you don't know this because you never got a chance to mentor -  _lucky_   _you_  - but a lot of the time is spent hobnobbing with idiots from the Capitol. Getting them drunk, making them pay for parachutes for your tribute. Having them bulk up the odds. My kids were out quick, first day, so usually that means we get to go home early. Blight was drunk as a skunk, which wasn't new, so he went back with the bodies and I stayed behind. For you."

Katniss's eyebrows furrowed. "For me?"

Johanna's gaze moved away from her, almost embarrassedly, and she looked down at her legs that were hanging off the bed. "Like I told you in the Training Center, you intrigued me. Your tacky romance drama notwithstanding, I liked you. I saw this girl that didn't give a fuck about her boyfriend or whatever somewhere in that arena. I saw a survivor who wanted to win." She held Katniss's gaze for just a moment. "Anyway, so you get knocked around by those fireballs. You look like a fucking wreck, burned everywhere. They made all these mine accident jokes." Johanna sneered in disgust. "I punched a guy." Katniss shot her a disbelieving stare and Johanna narrowed her eyes. "Think about it. You've got my memories locked in there somewhere. Everything's hazy to me but I remember hitting a guy."

Katniss didn't know where to start. She thought about Blight, the only person from Johanna's past she had ever seen, other than Finnick of course. The memories clouded in front of her mind's eye as images of Blight talking to her on a train, of the two of them drinking, of seeing him miserable on the front porch of what looks like a luxurious cabin. Finally, hugging him goodbye as he boards a train. Dinners. Drinks. People chattering away. Then, miraculously, her own face on ten TV screens, larger than life. The fireball coming at her, singeing her leg. There's a leftover feeling of anxiety in her chest. Suddenly a man makes a remark next to her.  _"What precious irony, a girl from that coal district getting burned."_ A big laugh. Johanna's fist clenches and she socks him right in the jaw, sending him tumbling into a table full of pastries.

"You weren't kidding." It reminded her of something Gale would do. In the times before rebellion and reapings when she and Gale would traverse the deep woods he'd have the same intense, indignant reaction to the people of the Capitol. All the treasonous and terrible things he would say, and mean them. Johanna's entire body was filled of that same fire.

"He was fat, right?" Johanna asked wistfully. "Fat shit. So afterwards I make myself scarce because they don't exactly love me in those wine and dine events. You don't know what we do during the games, the mentors who've already lost. Most of us just get drunk but I figured I'd had enough wine. I went into another viewing room with less people. In these viewing rooms you can tune in to a specific tribute. There's always cameras on you in the arena, you know that. But if you're boring or someone else is dying, or if let's say, you prepare a funeral for someone?" Katniss smiled. "They cut away in editing. These pre-editing cameras are for the mentors only, to keep track of their specific tribute in case they need help. Of course your wonderful mentor was not watching yours. So I did."

"You watched me? Only me?"

Johanna scoffed. "What was I gonna watch? Bread boy follow the Careers around? Watch the little redhead from Five? I watched  _you_."

"Why me?"

"I don't know," Johanna answered honestly. "I told you, you intrigued me. After you did your stunt in the tree the cameras followed those kids screaming into the lake. They followed Peeta a lot after he told you to run. But me? I was watching you. I saw you test your bow in the tree. Kill that rabbit like no one was watching, because really, no one was."

"You were." Katniss closed her eyes as Johanna spoke, trying to relive the memory as best as Johanna could remember it. Nightmarish flashes of water with bright white cut into her memory but mostly, it was clear. Sitting in a large, plush room with twenty-four televisions, all sorted by district. Other people were in there, most she didn't recognize. Johanna was sitting in a seat in the far back, staring at Katniss as she stalked the rabbit. Then, Rue. Her eyes opened. "I didn't think someone like you would sympathize with me taking on a tiny girl as an ally."

Johanna's face formed an unreadable expression and she drew her hands back into her own lap. "She wasn't your ally, brainless. There are friends, and there are allies. Rue was your friend. And, from what I can tell of your memories, she was like your sister. Now that I've met Prim, I can see why. I get it."

Bringing up Prim and Rue caused only confusion for Katniss. Her memories of them were so faint and that caused a heavy feeling in her gut. So she switched topics. "Friends and allies," Katniss repeated. "Which are we?"

Johanna chuckled. "Do you think I sit up in the middle of the night and have a heart to heart with my  _allies_? Think I wanna roll in and do this with Beetee?" Johanna blinked at the strangeness of calling him by his real name. "We're friends, I guess."

"Most of my friends end up dead," Katniss warned in a low tone. "Or broken."

Johanna leaned in confidentially. "Luckily for us, I'm already broken. And I don't have any use for friends, never did." Johanna's smile fell from her face, replacing it with a somewhat nervous expression. "Maybe it's because I've talked to Bread Boy or Doctor Aurelius too much, but I'm thinking  _friends_  with you is better than nothing with you." Johanna felt Katniss's limbs tense beneath her blanket. "Look I'm not Gale or Peeta, okay? I'm not gonna put any pressure on you. But - because I'm  _not_ Gale or Peeta, I'm not going to lie to you. I won't settle for second place, or third, or fourth but I won't push you. Not now, not while we're this close to getting to Snow."

Katniss fidgeted with the blanket across her lap. Hearing Johanna speak like this, with sympathy but directly and honestly, reminded her of Peeta. How his strong comfort was always so open and earnest. In a million years she'd never expect it from Johanna, but before the body switch she had never thought about it either. "Thanks."

"Once this rebellion is over, then we'll have our talk."

"Who says I'll be around?" Katniss asked amusedly.

Johanna rolled her eyes. "It's everyone's job to keep you safe, Mockingjay. You'll survive this rebellion. You'll probably go back to your little Podunk District and I'll be there. And we'll have that chat." Off Katniss' wary look Johanna stiffened. "We don't have to. You can tell me right now to back off, and I will. But I don't think you want me to back off, do you?" Katniss didn't repsond. Instead she looked down at her hands. Johanna's hands were small, feminine but calloused. Katniss enjoyed the feel of them. "That's what I thought."

Johanna scooted over her legs and off the edge of the bed to pad across the room back to her own mattress. Katniss settled back in to her bed for the night, turning on her side to face Johanna in the darkness. Her hand slid underneath her pillow as she tried to lull herself to sleep. But Johanna's promise of their talk after the rebellion kept her mind and body awake. Whatever the talk consisted of, Katniss was certain she wanted to hear it.

"I can't make you any promises," Katniss called out into the darkness.

She heard Johanna chuckle lowly. "I'm not one of your boyfriends, Katniss. I'm not asking for any." Katniss ruminated on that point for a long set of clicks from the clock on their wall. Johanna didn't want any promises of love or any declarations of intent. She just wanted honesty and feeling. Johanna related to things physically; she wasn't into the head game that Gale and Peeta had been.

She began to think she might have more in common with the irascible District 7 victor than she thought. Katniss hoped that when they switched back they didn't go back to hating each other. She wasn't sure she could take that rejection. Not since she'd seen the sides of Johanna the older victor tried to hide, not since being able to feel the range of emotions Johanna felt for her.

* * *

Katniss plopped herself into the seat across from Haymitch in the cafeteria, her eyes wandering to Johanna sitting with Prim, chatting idly. Watching Johanna interact as her with her sister made a strange pang of loneliness tug inside Katniss's chest. It didn't feel like her own grief, though. It felt old and gnarled, hidden away in brush. She shook her head to clear the images of fire and pine woods and looked over at Haymitch. "Any word yet?"

The older mentor looked up Katniss and raised an eyebrow with a sardonic smile. "Why? Not enjoying your vacation from being the Mockingjay, sweetheart? Isn't this what you wanted?"

Katniss firmed her lips at his confrontational remark. "I didn't want to lose my family. Twice." Haymitch's eyebrows furrowed. "I can feel her loss, too. Her nightmares are usually all about her family. Then I wake up and watch her taking mine."

Beetee rolled his chair next to where Katniss was sitting, setting his tray next to hers. He smiled kindly at her. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

The young victor searched for the appropriate word. Each morning when she awoke she was becoming more and more accustomed to be inside Johanna's skin. Hearing her voice when she spoke and looking into her eyes in the mirror; it was a pattern Katniss didn't want to fall prey to. She felt the more she gave in to being Johanna, the more they would 'bleed' together and she might lose herself. This rebellion had already taken her friends, her home, Peeta. It couldn't have her sense of self too. "Muddled?" she suggested, shrugging her shoulders. "It gets more confusing day by day." Her voice dropped an octave and snarled. "Not that Jo has made it any easier."

"How's that?" Beetee asked, shoveling oatmeal in his mouth.

Katniss knew there was a blush blooming on her cheeks. Curse Johanna and her pale skin. Haymitch looked at her knowingly but Beetee was all earnest interest. She hadn't kept up with her promise to keep him abreast of all the feelings she had so naturally he was curious about how they were living. Katniss had kept it from him mostly because all of their feelings were confusing and sexual and not something she wanted to share. "Well apparently it's no secret that Jo has been..." Katniss trailed off, unable to form the words.

Haymitch smirked. "Flirting with Cressida?"

Katniss coughed. "Yes.  _That_. And she's taken to doing the same thing to me." Her eyes dropped to her food bowl. "I don't know if she's just trying to rile me since she gets some sick satisfaction out of pissing me off. Or if this is some weird side effect of the switch. Or if..."

The older man smiled and scratched his chin. "Or if she means it." Haymitch took a bite of his oatmeal, contemplating his next words carefully. "I would say, and I don't know Jo all that well but I've been around her and the other victors long enough, that if she's taken an interest in you, it's probably for real." He spooned another helping of the oatmeal into his mouth. "She seem like the type to waste her time?"

An exasperated sigh left Katniss's mouth. It was so annoyed it sounded just like Johanna's. Her eyes moved back to over to where Johanna was sitting, quietly eating her oatmeal. Her sister and mother had left the table. "She's hard to read. Some days she's open, other times she's completely closed off."

"Sounds familiar," Haymitch commented.

Beetee piped in. "Johanna puts up a lot of walls, Katniss. You saw it when you first met her." Katniss blushed harder and Beetee smiled gently. "Not in the Training Center. On the beach. She really did save my life and Wiress's and you immediately went after her so she choked up."

"That's not fair," Katniss shot back. "I didn't know it was for me. I didn't know about the rebellion." Her eyes leveled at Haymitch who rolled his blue ones in return.

"The arena is not the best place to meet someone and suss out their real personality. Johanna had an act to put on. You should know that better than anyone." The star-crossed lovers. Katniss felt the familiar jealousy spread inside Johanna's body. This time, for some reason, it made her smile a little. "Had she been nice to you right off the bat, you would've thought something was up. At that point it wasn't safe to reveal anything. Not with the tributes from One and Two still around."

Silence fell between the three victors as Katniss stared down into her bowl. Johanna's open statement about 'not settling for second-best' had been a source of both anxiety and elation and Katniss didn't know to whom those feelings belonged. Romantic entanglements was not something she was well-versed or took an interest in. Gale's pursuit of her had waned since the rebellion - brought on by her disinterest, Peeta's capture, and the fact that Gale could not reconcile her ambivalence toward the rebellion. Katniss had vowed to do whatever it took to get Peeta out of the arena alive. That sentiment, taken on the surface, sounded a lot like love. Katniss had thought it  _was_  love, or as close to it as she would come. Surely Peeta loved her, was in love with her, but her feelings for him were heightened by the arena and dampened by their interactions elsewhere. He was familiar, he was comfort. He was hope. But Johanna was something else, something kind of dangerous but alluring. She was Gale's fire and Peeta's comfort. She was both of them and yet, altogether different.

"That said," Beetee began, interrupted Katniss's thoughts, "I am nearly finished with fixing the original mechanism. There's a few little switches on there that I'm unsure of their function. I'd like to figure that out before we test it again."

"How long do you think that will take?" Katniss asked.

Beetee pushed his glasses up on to the bridge of his nose. "Not that long. Fixing the metal pieces was like putting together a moving jigsaw puzzle but eventually I figured it out. I want to be absolutely certain before I subject both you and Johanna to the same thing again." Katniss's eyes were pained with worry. Each passing moment she felt her self slipping away. Beetee nodded his head in understanding. "I will get you as soon as I figure it out, I promise."

* * *

Johanna grunted as she pulled herself up and got the bar to go beneath her chin for the eleventh consecutive time. Sweat dripped down her forehead and stung her eyes, clutching her eyelashes before flicking on to the ground. The heart rate monitor strapped around her chest beeped steadily beneath her shirt. Soldier York had dismissed them from training a little earlier than normal and Katniss's schedule for the day was empty until dinner. Johanna took that time to get in some more physical work. Katniss is an athletic girl but most of her ability to stalk and run and fight is in how tiny she is. Other than her hands which are very strong, the rest of her body lacked pure muscle. Johanna was used to her own frame - slight, but each muscle counted and her arm strength was deceiving. In District 7 kids are taught how to wield axes by five years old. If you can't lift an axe over your head easily and accurately, you were destined to a career sweeping up sawdust. No Mason had ever swept sawdust. Now no Mason ever could; Johanna shook her head to clear those thoughts.

In hopes of building some more muscle she continued to do chin-ups in the deserted training area. Once she had exhausted her muscles she left the area for the range, opting to test out Beetee's bow again. She picked up the non-explosive arrows and loaded them in the quiver. Johanna herself had no idea how to properly use a bow and arrow; her experience in the training center before her games was minimal and generally, she lacked the subtlety for archery. Katniss's body knew it just as her own body knew how to wield an axe and it never failed to relax the District 12 native. To help soothe her muscles she loaded the bow and began taking out the popped up targets as they emerged. The bow was precise and required such concentration to take down a target. When she hurled an axe she was as accurate as anything but you didn't have to be a surgeon to kill someone with an axe.

Hers - or Katniss's - victor senses pricked up as she got close to the last few arrows. She was being watched. Once she had spent all the arrows in the quiver she turned around to see her own face staring back at her. Her lips split into a catlike grin. "Don't want you to get rusty, Mockingjay."

Katniss bit her bottom lip and raised an eyebrow. She had come upon Johanna shooting the arrows and was immediately struck by a strong sensation she had felt moderately in the meadow when they had first switched and Johanna had practiced with the bow for the first time. Katniss allowed herself to feel whatever it was that Johanna was feeling as she unloaded the quiver. It was pure arousal, laced with a little bit of admiration. Being around Johanna was too confusing. Her own attraction to the other girl, combined with the attraction she could feel inside Johanna for her, was too complicated. But she couldn't pass an opportunity to get Johanna against the ropes. "You really like watching me shoot, huh?"

Johanna had the decency to blush and duck her gaze. "Please. Like you don't love watching me toss an axe." Katniss shook her head and Johanna raised both her eyebrows. "Really?" Johanna shucked the bow and quiver on to the floor. She confidently sauntered over to the weapons' closet and removed two small hatchets from the pegs on the wall. She walked back to Katniss and handed her the axes, nodding toward the targets. "Go ahead."

Katniss narrowed her eyes. "You'll lie."

Johanna lifted her shirt and exposed the heart rate monitor wrapped around her ribs. She knew just by looking at the expression on her face that Katniss felt the arousal she would feel seeing Katniss exposed. There was no hiding behind her smirk and her coarse words anymore. Katniss could feel what she had spent a lot of time denying herself. "If I - or  _you_  - get a little excited, we'll know."

Katniss sighed. Even before she began she knew Johanna would feel it. Watching Johanna use the axes or the rifles always made her a little bit nervous and she didn't know why. Being inside Johanna had been eye-opening in that respect; it taught her how to identify all the sexual feelings inside her body. Both the ones she wanted and the ones she didn't. Katniss sucked in a deep breath and turned to the targets. She whipped back, then tossed both axes in quick succession toward the targets, grunting with each release.

The heart rate monitor beeped more rapidly and Johanna smirked smugly at Katniss. "That doesn't mean anything," Katniss mumbled, wiping her hands on her 13-issued pants and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Sure it doesn't. Whatever helps you sleep at night, kid." Johanna nudged her in the shoulder with a pleased smile and the two of them ambled toward the exit. There was some time to kill before dinner so Johanna figured she would take a shower and catch up on some studying she had been neglecting. Katniss had been good about keeping her up with her studies and even making her a better sharpshooter. Soldier York had even "commended" Johanna on her better attitude.

Once they were back in their compartment Johanna stripped out of her clothes and kicked them to the side, entering the bathroom without even looking toward Katniss. Quickly she showered and exited the bathroom, the towel wrapped under her arms. Katniss was sitting on the edge of her bed with her feet dangling down, swinging back and forth. She looked up as Johanna entered the room, padding across the floor barefoot until she got to her bed. Johanna pulled on her clothes, tossing the towel over a nearby chair. "Johanna?"

Johanna peered at Katniss. "Hm?"

"Would you..." Katniss hefted a large sigh and slid off the bed. "I haven't been able to take a decent bath since the switch. Showers seem to be completely off the chart for me - um, for you." A shadow crossed over Johanna's face. "Would you help me? I think that I would - or that you would - maybe do better if you had some help?"

Johanna's face turned into a scowl before a small smirk appeared on her lips. "Want me to tell you how you feel when you see me naked?" Katniss rolled her eyes and took Johanna by the hand to lead her into the bathroom. She had no desire to keep up Johanna's insistence on not bathing, and who would be better equipped to help Johanna than Johanna herself? The creaking of the shower and the water streaming onto her seemed too daunting but a regular bath would probably be okay, she thought. Johanna suddenly jerked her hand back as the water began filling the tub. "I don't think you want to do this."

The sincerity in Johanna's tone took Katniss by surprise and she turned around. Johanna was eyeing the bathtub with distrust and Katniss softened her voice. "Like you said, we can't go back, so we might as well get on with things. You can't let this fear take over your life. You swam in the Quell, right? We had to. This water's the same. This is safer."

Johanna rolled her eyes. "Of course I did, brainless. Before you tried to drown yourself." Katniss puckered her lips. "It's not that, it's -" Johanna cut herself off. She didn't want Katniss to relive the nightmares she relived when she went near water. Not just because of her pride - though that comprised most of the reason - but also because it was so painful. "There are some things you don't need to know about me. I don't need or want anyone's pity."

Katniss took Johanna's hand again and held it between both of her own. "I know that terrible things happened to you in the Capitol, Johanna." Johanna's gaze dropped to the floor. "I can see them sometimes at night. Going to visit Peeta does it, too. And I know it has something to do with water, with... with lightning or electricity or something. But I think I can help. It doesn't totally put me off like it does for you. I'm still me, somewhere in here, and I'm okay with water. Maybe with both of us, we can help get you through this." Johanna still seemed very uncertain. "I don't pity you. It's partly guilt because your torture is essentially my fault."

Johanna's gaze leveled intently on Katniss. "That's not true. Every death or misfortune in this rebellion is not your fault just because you picked some berries and chose to die with dignity. I don't know who's been filling your head with this shit - or maybe you're just  _ridiculously_  self-involved - but either way, know that at least I can say I made my own choices and before recently I had pretty little regard for you." Katniss smiled. In her "Johanna" way she had tried to absolve Katniss of the guilt she felt over her capture. Johanna's eyes dropped to her feet. "I couldn't ask you for help, Everdeen."

Katniss smirked. "I know you wouldn't but  _I'm_  asking  _you_. So come on." Katniss met Johanna's eyes meaningfully. "Trust me."

Johanna laughed ruefully. "You know I can feel that you don't trust me. I look in your eyes - in my eyes - and I can still feel that you are stuck in that arena on your back with me digging into your forearm." Her eyes took on a faraway quality as she tried to blink out the image of looking up at her face, sweating and concerned, stabbing into Katniss's arm. She refocused on Katniss. "Not that I blame you."

Katniss nodded her head and swallowed the saliva in her mouth. She knew she'd have to choose her next few words very carefully in order to keep Johanna opening up. Beetee had been correct in that Johanna was a tough nut to crack. She was quick to put up walls. "It's not because it's you," Katniss began. "It's the arena. The situation. You hitting me with that coil sent my already pretty fragile state into another world. I didn't know what was happening. Only that it was painful and that I wasn't going to protect Peeta. I had failed."

"If we had let you both go with the wire, you'd both probably be dead." Katniss looked puzzled for a moment. "The wire snaps, you both go running away from Brutus and Enobaria. Right into the Capitol hovercraft that didn't need you to break down the dome for it to enter. They'd have scooped you both right up, probably killed you on television, then kept Peeta around to help quell the rebellion. Or kept you alive until Peeta could talk 'sense' into everyone,  _then_  killed you. And before you start on your 'at least my sister would be safe' bullshit, she'd be dead right after you. Twelve would still be dust." Johanna saw Katniss's expression become pained and she sighed. "I'm saying this because you need to get out of your guilt. It's not helping you, Peeta, the rebellion, anyone. You don't have to feel guilty that you survived. Survival is not a privilege, survival is earned."

Katniss's mouth quirked upward. "Johanna Mason, victor, fighter, rebel,  _philosopher_?" Johanna jabbed Katniss in the ribs, a blush scattering along her cheeks.

"Just because I'm in your brain doesn't mean I'm the brainless one." Katniss stuck out her tongue and Johanna chuckled, enjoying the petulant look on her own face. She heaved a sigh as the smile began to fade from Katniss's face while she filled the tub with warm water. "I gotta warn you, it's not going to be pretty."

Katniss nodded. "I know. Maybe if you - I don't know, talk me through it?" Johanna quirked her eyebrow as Katniss began stripping out of her clothing. "I'm saying maybe if you talk while I do this, it'll make the time go by quicker. Associate water with something else."

"With you," Johanna added, eyes dropping back to the floor. "To be honest, I don't know if that's going to help." Katniss looked up at her, clad in only her bra and panties. Johanna firmed her lips. This was more sharing than she wanted to do, but Katniss could reach into her memories anyway and pluck out whatever she wanted. "I thought about you a lot. While - while I was there."

"Because it was my fault?"

"No brainless. Because ...I don't know, actually. I just kept hoping you were alive. That you were making him pay. The only reason I thought you were alive is because Peeta never stopped screaming for you. I figured if you were dead, they'd use  _that_  to torture him." Johanna watched in horror as Katniss's eyes took on a horrified, faraway stare. Johanna grabbed her hand and squeezed it in earnest. "Hey, hey, it's okay," she said, her voice dropping to a soothing tone. Katniss leveled her gaze at her and smiled a little. "We're not there anymore. We're here." Katniss turned off the water and shivered. "All right, take off your clothes."

Katniss raised her eyebrows to her hairline. "Pervert."

Johanna snickered. "It's perverted to see myself naked? I think we both know this is not the first or last time." Johanna was taken aback at the strong arousal she felt when Katniss unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor, bending down to remove her underwear. When Katniss stood she saw her own face with a slacked jaw. Johanna blinked rapidly and smirked. "Well, well, well. The girl on fire is not as pure as we think. Is this how you felt in the elevator? 'Cos you could've given a girl a compliment instead of staring  _around_  me."

"Shut up," Katniss commanded with an embarrassed grin on her face. Slowly Katniss dipped her one leg into the bath, followed by the other. She stood in the water and let it gently lap at the back of her knees. Katniss lowered herself into the tub as she clutched the edges. She began to hyperventilate and within seconds Johanna was kneeling next to her, prying her hand off the tub and clasping it within her own.

"It's okay. Just breathe, Katniss. Breathe slowly for me." Katniss screwed her eyes shut and focused on breathing. The images in her brain of an all-white room flashed like television static. She felt cold water rushing around her. "Hey." Johanna snapped the fingers on her free hand. "Don't give in to my memories. Look at me." Johanna took Katniss by the chin and forced her to look over. "Open your eyes."

Katniss opened her eyes to see her own reflection staring back at her. Johanna used her hand to stroke what little hair she had grown, rubbing Katniss's temple with her thumb. "That's frightening."

"I know." Johanna grabbed the soap bar from the side of the tub and worked it into a lather in her hands. With deliberate movements she ran the soap over the back of Katniss's neck, working it into her shoulders. Katniss breathed out a sigh, focusing on the little white bubbles of soap as they dropped from her skin and hit the water. "You don't have to do this, you know. For me."

Katniss looked up at Johanna who was focused on cleaning her skin. "It's the least I can do." Johanna gave her a dour look and Katniss smiled weakly. "Not because of the Quell. Or the torture. Because-" Katniss sucked in a sharp breath. "Because of you. Because I want to, for you."

Johanna dropped her gaze as she scrubbed Katniss's back, tenderly going over the faint pink scars that spidered along her shoulder blades. There was the barest hint of a smile on her face. "Okay." They fell into silence as Johanna washed what little hair she had, massaging her scalp as she did so. Katniss was doing wonderfully ignoring the pangs of flashbacks that threatened to overtake her. A few times her teeth clenched as a particularly gruesome memory would crop up before Johanna would talk her out of it. She felt like a balloon only faintly tethered to reality and Johanna was a petulant child with the string, tugging her back down.

Never in her life could Johanna remember anyone making a sacrifice for her. Katniss's actions were thoroughly unselfish - even if she did want to be clean. It gave her something she hadn't felt in a long while: hope. Johanna helped her out of the tub and pulled the drain. She wrapped Katniss in a nearby towel and ruffled her damp locks. "You did great," Katniss whispered, closing her eyes at the warmth of the towel with Johanna's body pressing against her own.

"Not me,  _you_. I never could've gotten in there." Johanna shook her head as she watched the water swirl down into the drain and a shudder ran down her spine.

Katniss placed her hand on Johanna's cheek to bring back her gaze. "Yes, you would have. And you will. There was a lot of fear there but there's even more courage."

Johanna scrunched her nose and was grateful that Katniss's darkened skin made her blush less apparent. "No more mushy talks okay Everdeen? I can't take it anymore." Johanna smiled devilishly and Katniss poked her in the bicep and walked around her, shaking her head.

"Afraid you're going soft, Mason?" Katniss called from the next room. Johanna followed her out and placed her hands on her hips.

"I don't know. Why don't you touch me and find out?" Johanna nodded toward Katniss, her eyes dropping to where her own private area was.

Katniss groaned and a bloom of red spread across her cheeks. "You're such a pervert, geez."

Johanna shrugged. "You bring it out in me."

* * *

Two days before the soldiers were to be shipped out on the first Capitol offensive, Soldier York finally recommended Johanna and Katniss for the exam. "About damn time," they both muttered under their breaths in unison. Katniss looked up at Johanna in desperation. "We have to see Beetee first."

The pair made their descent as quickly as possible to the laboratory where Beetee was holed up. He nearly rolled them over in the doorway, the metal contraption in his hand. "Ladies! I'm so glad you came down here. I was just-"

"Yeah great," Johanna interrupted. Her patience was long gone, if it was ever truly present to begin with. "York has just recommended us for the exam and we have to report ASAP or Boggs'll have a baby. Is this thing gonna work?"

Beetee nodded. "It should. Haven't quite figured out all the bells and whistles so to speak, but in theory it should be one hundred percent functional. I must warn you, it's still untested and highly unstable."

Johanna snatched it from his hand and fixed it within her palm. The metal began to vibrate as she clenched it in her open hand. She looked over at Katniss who wore a worried look on her face. "It's been quite a ride, Everdeen. I was just getting used to your cute little braid."

Katniss rolled her eyes. "Let's just get this over with."

"A-fucking-greed." Johanna held up her hand. Katniss drew in a deep, hesitant breath. She then clasped her hand over Johanna's tightly, the magnetizing force of the metal pulling them together. A small tremor went through their hands and down their arms and Johanna unconsciously snatched Katniss's other hand tightly.

The blue light flickered in between them. The room began buzzing as if all the air particles were catching the electricity from within the mechanism. Suddenly the light shot outward and both girls stumbled back, but didn't fall. The piece unhooked from Johanna's hand and fell to the ground with a loud clang. Johanna looked over at Katniss in concern. "Are you okay?"

Beetee's eyes lit up behind his thick frames. "Did it work?"

Katniss gazed back at Johanna and sadly still saw her own reflection. "Fuck." Johanna looked like she was nearly shooting flames from her eyes in anger. "We're going to have to pass the Block like this."

"No shit." Johanna looked down at Beetee who was examining the device. "Volts, what the hell?"

Beetee peered at Johanna over his glasses. "I'm quite confused. It looks as it did after you both used it the first time. As far as I know it should have worked." His puzzled expression became sympathetic. "I'm very sorry but you'll have to proceed as you are. Hopefully I can figure this out before you leave. Otherwise I don't know how much longer I'll have access to all this technology, presuming the Capitol offensive goes well and the war ends."

Katniss drew in a deep, deliberate breath as she focused her eyes on Johanna. "We're victors, right? We can take anything they throw at us." Johanna smirked.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," she replied with a wink. She held out her arm. "Let's go, Solider Mason."

Katniss grinned and looped her arm through Johanna's. "After you, Soldier Everdeen."

* * *

Johanna flew through the exam. The obstacle course, the written, the weapons proficiency, even the Block. Katniss's weakness was not her own and when she needed to get down on the ground and follow orders, she did. She met with Finnick and Gale in the Command Room and received their instructions on their procedure, celebrating their success. Gale had his panties in a knot about not being in combat but Johanna was just thrilled to get a chance to get back to the Capitol. Get closer to Snow. Get closer to seeing him die. Even if it was all a show, it'd be quite a show.

They emerged from the meeting in high spirits but it was quickly dashed by the stone sober face of Haymitch. Johanna stopped in her tracks. "Whoa. Even  _I_  can tell that face means something's up."

Haymitch took Johanna by the shoulder and drew her down the hallway away from the boys. Once they were out of earshot he leaned in. " _Johanna_ failed the Block exam." Johanna stared at the blond mentor in confusion. Failed? How could Katniss have failed? "They flooded the streets. She had one of your flashbacks, didn't know where she was. It wasn't too bad but they're not letting her go to the Capitol now."

"But she has to go, Haymitch," Johanna pleaded, eyes wide. "She has to make him pay."

"Looks like you'll have to do that for her, sweetheart."

All she could hear in her brain was Katniss's voice over and over again:  _I kill Snow. I kill Snow._ "No. She deserves this." She didn't wait to hear any more. After a stop in her compartment and a brief talk with Boggs she went out into the woods, gathering some fresh pine boughs still on the trees. She bundled it together and quickly reversed her trip and half-jogged back to the infirmary.

As she arrived Katniss was sitting up on the edge of the bed in the hospital gown, the morphlng drip detached from her body and dripping slowly on to the floor. Johanna walked in on hunter's feet and lifted herself onto the bed next to Katniss. She placed her hand over Katniss's. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Yes it is," Johanna interrupted brusquely. "If I hadn't been fucking with Volts none of this would've happened. You'd be going to the Capitol. You'd be making him pay."

There was a lot of truth to that statement, but Katniss's anger toward Johanna was stunted by how powerful the flashback had been. One moment she was aimed up with her rifle, about to take down a Peacekeeper, and the next thing she knew water had flooded the streets. It came rushing at her and she dropped to her knees, screaming as the flashback became reality. Chained in a white room, soaking in bone-chilling water, electrical shocks hitting her temples and her ribs. Katniss looked down at Johanna's hand and saw a tiny bundle wrapped in her ribbons. She narrowed her gaze. "What's that?"

Johanna peered down on the small gift and her mouth twitched. "It's for you. Well, us, really. I got the pine needles from outside. Figured it would be comforting to ...you know, me. Sometimes when I have bad flashbacks in my sessions or whatever, thinking of home helps. But the ribbon, the green one, smells like you. I thought that it would be nice to have something while you're stuck in this stinking infirmary" Johanna looked away in an attempt to curtail her emotions. "I won't let you down again. I will kill that fucking bastard."

Katniss took the small gift and her eyes met Johanna's. She didn't know if being in her body had made Johanna more empathetic, or maybe she did feel something toward her but either way, Katniss knew of only one way to thank her. Gathering Johanna's plentiful courage she placed her hand softly on the side of Johanna's cheek and pushed their lips together. Johanna smiled into the kiss and slid her tongue along Katniss's lower lip. It was a weird sensation - kissing her own lips - but it didn't feel that way. It felt like she was kissing Katniss. It made her heart pound in her chest and gooseflesh appear all over her arms.  _Finally_.

A shudder went through Johanna's body, jolting from her lips right to her core. Behind her closed eyes there was a brilliant blue light that she blissfully ignored. Her hand curled around the back of Katniss's neck and her thumb traced underneath Katniss's ear. After long, wonderful minutes she felt Katniss's lips still and she pulled away from her with a hard pant. Her hand went to her own heart and beneath her fingers she felt the rough fabric of the hospital gown. "What?" Her eyes met Katniss's and it was actually Katniss's eyes she was staring into. Gray ones, wide and imploring, nearly panicked. "It worked."

Katniss felt around her body slowly. She was in the armor from the exam and not the gown. Her head was heavy with the weight of her braid. More importantly, her feelings and memories were her own. The tingle in her lips from Johanna's kiss was her own. "Do you think it was..." Katniss motioned between the two of them.

Johanna grinned and shrugged her shoulders, enjoying the familiarity of her own muscles. "I know I'm good but I'm not sure about body-switching good."

"That could not have been a coincidence," Katniss muttered with the tips of her fingers brushing against her own lips. The swell inside her stomach and heat that had spread from her mouth to her loins had been so unexpected. As had realizing halfway through their breathless kiss that she was back inside her own body. She recognized the warmth in her stomach from the beach, but not the fire she felt, and when she opened her eyes and saw Johanna there was the flood of arousal.  _That_  was totally new. And worrisome.

Johanna raised both eyebrows as she gazed upon Katniss's face. It almost didn't feel real that they had kissed at all. Johanna's lips had kissed many others in her lifetime but none of them made her feel like an electric shock had gone straight to her heart. In a good way. It was disheartening though as Katniss didn't seem to mirror that feeling. "You should get going. They're probably going to need to debrief you some more."

Katniss nodded absently. She slid off the bed and landed on her feet, squatting her knees a few times to adjust herself to her own weight. She and Johanna didn't have that much of a weight deferential between them but it was all distributed differently. "I guess I'll go." She turned halfway to face Johanna. "I'll come back before we leave."

"Don't bother," Johanna replied, playing mindlessly with the morphling drip. "I don't need you to do me any favors."

"It wouldn't be a favor. I'd be doing it because I want to." Johanna looked at her sourly. "What?"

"When things get a little too real the Mockingjay bails." Katniss crossed her arms over her chest. "You felt something when we kissed, didn't you? Not just the switch. Something else. And now you're bailing."

Katniss felt the intimate anger Johanna always seemed to inspire in her. "I said I would come back!" she barked.

"Out of pity!" Johanna shot back. "Poor District Seven, can't stand the water, can't go to the fucking Capitol. I'm about as useful as fucking Buttercup and neither he nor I want your pity, Everdeen."

Katniss groaned and turned away from Johanna, placing her hands on either sides of her head. The emotions the kiss had caused her were not something she wanted to discuss prior to her suicide mission to the Capitol. Johanna would just be another person she'd let down. "It's not pity," Katniss spat out. "I thought you said you wanted to be  _friends_."

Johanna cackled behind her and Katniss whirled back around. "I told you I wasn't going to pressure you and I'm not. But unlike your boyfriends, I actually felt what you feel inside. You can't lie to me. You can lie to yourself now I guess, but not to me. Not anymore." Johanna felt familiar fury rising in her body. "Go. Go to the Capitol, have your fucking moment. Don't forget to kiss your other  _f_ _riends_  goodbye, too. Maybe your 'magic kiss' will straighten up Peeta, too."

Katniss was very glad that they had some privacy because it only took her a split second to whip Johanna across the cheek with her open palm in a loud slap that surely would've brought them attention. Wide set brown eyes flashed both anger and arousal and Katniss used her stinging right hand to grip Johanna's hospital gown above her chest and crush their bodies together in another kiss. She stood between Johanna's legs and kept her tight fist wrapped in Johanna's gown. This kiss was much less gentle than before, much less timid. Her teeth clashed against Johanna's and the older victor's two tiny fists had her around by the waist, pulling her closer.

The brunette pulled away and ran her tongue along the outside of her bottom lip, tasting the slightly coppery liquid that Johanna had drawn with her teeth. Their faces stayed only a hair's breadth apart as Katniss tried to catch her breath. "Will you really wait for me until I get back? You're not just trying to fuck with me, right?" Katniss whispered against Johanna's parted lips.

She felt Johanna's lips grow into a grin. "Why, would that just  _devastate_  you?" Johanna asked in a light, mocking tone. Katniss could feel Johanna's pouted bottom lip on her own.

"Yes. A little," Katniss admitted, her gray eyes dropping from holding Johanna's intense gaze.

Johanna placed her hand on Katniss's face and drew her in for another, rather brief kiss. "As long as you don't go and do something stupid like get yourself killed, I'll be there." The menace in Johanna's tone was gone. Katniss could detect the hint of sincerity, of worry, and it made her smile.

"It's everyone's job to keep me safe, remember?" Katniss teased. "But I won't make any promises."

"So you've said."

Katniss pulled back a few inches and cocked her head to the side. "Maybe one." Johanna raised her eyebrows. "That talk you wanted."

Johanna grinned. "Looking forward to it." Katniss nodded her head and turned from Johanna, afraid of allowing the unshed tears in her eyes to fall. She didn't need or want Johanna to see her cry. Not now. "Say hi to Cressida for me," Johanna called to Katniss. The brunette pivoted to see Johanna laying on the bed, the bundle in her hands on her stomach.

"You're impossible."

The older victor smirked smugly. "Make him pay for it."

"Why do you think I'm going anyway, brainless?" Katniss called back at her as she went through the doorway.

Johanna slid the ribbons from the pine bundle and set the leaves on her stomach. She brought the ribbons toward her face. Very carefully she unknotted them until she had isolated the green one. Katniss's. She wove the ribbon through her fingers and held it to her nose, inhaling deeply.

When Katniss exited the room she nearly walked right into Haymitch. Immediately she flushed beetroot all across her cheeks. "Haymitch," she squeaked.

"Mockingjay," he responded. "It's really you in there, right?" He rapped on her head lightly with his knuckles for good measure. Katniss nodded and scratched the back of her neck. Haymitch's eyes went to her lips, then back up to her. "Everything go okay in there?" His tone was light and teasing but with a touch of what perhaps was Haymitch's "fatherly concern."

"It's fine." Haymitch lifted a questioning eyebrow but said nothing. The fullness of her lips and the redness of her cheeks spoke for her anyway.

"Care to tell me what happened?" Haymitch inquired softly.

Katniss poked at the ground with her boot. "We kissed. A-and while we were ...kissing, we switched back." Katniss's eyes met her mentor's and they begged to not have to continue. Her embarrassed smile was enough.

"Is that right? Okay then Katniss. Let's get you back to your squad and then on to the Capitol. Plutarch wants as many young and attractive victors as possible."

"That explains why you're not going," Katniss ribbed, glad for the change in subject.

Haymitch huffed dramatically. "Are you sure Mason's not still in there?"

"Well I didn't strip when I said it, did I?"

Haymitch chuckled and put his arm over Katniss's shoulder as they walked. "And I'm very glad you didn't." Beetee rolled toward Haymitch and Katniss. "Katniss why don't you go on ahead? I'll tell Beetee what happened." Katniss nodded in thanks and took off toward the elevators. Haymitch returned his attention to Beetee and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Tell me what?" Beetee asked. "Did you tell her I figured it out?"

Haymitch shook his head. "No I did not. It happened before I got here." Beetee could sense the half-truth of Haymitch's statement but knew well enough not to question it. "Do me a favor. Don't tell them it was on a delay, okay?"

"Why not?"

Haymitch smiled and clapped Beetee on the shoulder. "Just trust me. They're better off thinking they did it."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Thank you all for the continued and quite humbling support for this little story. This is the second to last chapter, and I hope to post the last one before the next chapter of Burn It Down.
> 
> Thanks to Johannas-Motivational-Insults for the verrrry helpful beta read. :)


	5. The Best-Looking Person in Thirteen

Days passed. Then weeks. Johanna steadily went stir crazy in 13. She was discharged from the hospital a few days after Katniss's departure and cleared for heavily modified exercise as well as her normal scheduling. For Johanna that meant mostly tying knots with Annie Cresta or hanging out with Prim in her downtime. Her therapy sessions were doubled in the wake of her flashback. She was miserable. She was desperately lonely.

Then the storm rushed in. Finnick had been torn apart by Snow's mutts and met his end in some dank sewer. Annie was inconsolable and Johanna was incensed. Their shared grief didn't bond them. It couldn't. Johanna's grief was a raging forest fire and Annie's came to her in tidal waves and crashed on the beach of her fragile mind. There had been a promise between she and Finnick years ago, after her family died and she'd taken refuge in Four that if something happened to him she would make sure Annie was okay. Now was not the time to fulfill that promise but it nagged at Johanna's brain.

News on the offense trickled in as Coin saw fit to inform them. Haymitch was a much more reliable source of information. Most of the team had been killed. Boggs was dead. They were now following Katniss's orders. Peeta was there. Haymitch, Plutarch and Johanna had tried to make the case to keep him in Thirteen but President Coin found him expendable. Johanna found it ludicrous and it sparked a deep flame of jealousy inside her. Peeta and Katniss in a life or death situation meant one of two things: Katniss would end up dead at his hand or in his arms again.

President Coin and Plutarch left ahead of everyone in anticipation of the end of the war. Johanna was in the cafeteria with Annie when somehow Prim had gotten permission to go with the rebel medics and came to hug her goodbye. Instinctively Johanna tucked in her duck tail in the back before letting her go. Perhaps the only part of Katniss she'd have is whatever was left of her inside Johanna's brain and the stupid ribbon she refused to take off. Prim smiled and broke Johanna's thoughts. "It was fun having you as a sister, Jo." That teasing Everdeen smile. Sadness selfishly ached in Johanna's heart.

Johanna swallowed it down and smirked back at the youngest Everdeen. "It was fun to be one again, little duck." Prim pulled in her chin and raised an eyebrow.

"That's what Katniss always calls me." The teasing smile came back on her lips. "She's not still inside there, right? Should I give you a quiz?"

"Thankfully no," Johanna replied and patted her chest. "All Mason. I guess some things just stuck around," she offered lamely. Her eyes darted to the ground and Prim, ever the observer, picked up on the small bit of melancholy.

"Hopefully you can stick around too. It'll get really lonely in Twelve with so many people gone. I'm sure it gets lonely in Seven, too." Johanna nodded absently. Prim added, "And I think Katniss would want you there with us."

Johanna snorted in disbelief but Prim put on her best 'stubborn Everdeen face' and placed her hands on her hips. "I think I'm gonna be the last thing on her mind once this is all over. With Bread Boy on the mend and the handsome cousin a war hero, she'll be busy, I'm sure."

Prim scrunched her mouth to the side and the placed her tiny hand on Johanna's shoulder. "She's still in there a little bit, right?" Johanna nodded her head again. "That means you're in her brain too. So even if she wanted to forget about you, she can't. That's something right?"

No wonder Katniss volunteered for her. Prim was everything good in the world. Hope. "That's something."

* * *

Johanna didn't need to be told that Prim died. It was in her dreams - the sight of Prim's golden hair and the duck tail, the whoosh of flames engulfing her, her name on Katniss's lips that was never spoken. Or maybe it was. Maybe she screamed it, Johanna woke up before she was forced to watch it again. She made a mental note to tell Beetee about the shared dreams that she knew she'd never follow through on. Johanna and the rest of the victors, Mrs. Everdeen, and a few other 13 residents flew on the hovercraft to the Capitol following the parachute drop. Coin had instructed everyone to be on hand for the next few days or weeks, depending on how long Snow's trial lasted and how long Katniss needed to convalesce. Johanna insisted on being allowed into Katniss's hospital room.

Haymitch didn't think it was necessary. "She's out of it," he explained calmly but drunkenly. The loss of lives had impacted him too. Possibly even the damage to Peeta and Katniss specifically. And Prim, well, even Johanna felt some of the sun's warmth disintegrate in the wake of that loss. "They won't let anyone but family in. She's stark naked, floating in some kinda gel to keep her skin from falling apart or something. She won't even know you're there."

Johanna hadn't followed a Capitol rule since Claudius Templesmith announced her as the winner of the 71st Hunger Games; she snuck in at night into Katniss's room. Mrs. Everdeen was slumped in a chair on the far side of the wall, looking twenty years older than when they left District 13. Johanna entered the all white Capitol room, wincing at the memories it brought. White sterile rooms. Guards. Shocks. Water. But she reminded herself that she had to be strong, just like she was in the torture cells. There was no Peeta here to calm either girl; he was nearly as badly burned as Katniss.  _Saved her life_  is what Haymitch said to her. He somehow managed to get to Katniss and put out her flames but he was singed by them too. Girl on fire indeed.

Selfishly, as she stared down at the incoherent girl resting on the foamy substance that was healing her skin, she thought of how she'd never be able to compete with Peeta. He would always have a hold on Katniss. Gale was out of the picture. The bombs looked like his creation, the intent not for Prim but she suffered nonetheless. But Peeta saved her life. More than once. What he was now, close to his former self but still pained, that would be what drew Katniss to him, just like in the cave. Johanna really thought it was all an act but deep down, she knew Katniss felt something for him. Maybe hers and Katniss's attraction had just been because they were so physically close all the time, maybe a lot of it was to do with the body switch. Maybe it was all wishful thinking on Johanna's part. She didn't wish that kiss though, she thought to herself. She didn't wish the look in Katniss's eyes when she earnestly asked if Johanna would be there when she got back.

She stood at the edge of Katniss's weird tank and stared down at the young girl. Katniss looked even younger like this. Johanna traced her fingers along the unburnt parts of Katniss's skin that floated above the water. She was so soft, so young, so insufferably innocent with her eyes closed and her mouth shut. It was when Johanna got caught in her snowstorm gray eyes that Katniss seemed older than her teenage years implied. "Oh Mockingjay. Didn't I tell you not to do anything stupid?" Johanna asked in a low whisper. Her hand came to rest on the side of Katniss's face. "But it was your sister, I know. You couldn't have saved her, stupid girl." Johanna shook her head and used her shoulder to wipe the few tears that had fallen from her eyes.

Katniss's mouth moved and formed soft whispers. Johanna leaned down close to Katniss's face to hear her. "Let me die," she begged in a hoarse whisper. "Let me follow the others." Johanna didn't have to imagine who was haunting Katniss's dreams. When she went to sleep that night in one of the many plush mansion bedrooms she shared Katniss's dreams. White and pink doves, Rue, a man with the same snowstorm eyes singing a song, even Cinna. Johanna didn't return to visit her when she was finally in a normal hospital room, her new skin able to withstand clothes and sheets. There were many others who went to see her over the weeks that followed as Coin stepped into power. Johanna snuck in at night again for a few nights content to watch Katniss sleep, keeping guard over her. One night she tied Prim's ribbon to the wrist that didn't have her medical bracelet on it.

As Snow's trial was nearing its end, Johanna chose to visit Peeta instead.

The Capitol doctors seemed to be having much more success reversing the tracker-jacker torture and going through his therapy than in Thirteen. Haymitch said he was finally speaking every day like himself and the images and memories of Katniss didn't throw him into fits. Johanna hated the mixture of jealousy and elation she felt at his progress. She hated herself for being so selfish. He looked up from his lap when she walked in the door, stilling his hand on a painting. It was fire - the entire palette was a brilliant collection of bright and subdued oranges. Johanna raised an eyebrow as she walked further in. "Wow Twelve, that's pretty fucking morbid."

Peeta let out a chuckle and gave Johanna a wry grin. His skin was in patches like Katniss's, new pink skin trying to blend with his sickly beige tone. "They think it's therapeutic for me to paint what I see in my dreams. This is the least horrible of all of them," Peeta replied with a shrug. He placed his paintbrush in a nearby cup and put the painting on a table beside his bed. His burned hands folded over his lap. "I'm surprised to see you here."

"We're torture buddies," Johanna joked, hoping the morbidity would be welcome. Peeta's hearty laugh indicated that it was. "Hey, I came to visit you in Thirteen," she reminded.

Peeta nodded. "I remember. When you and Katniss were roommates. I gotta say I'm surprised how well that worked out. You're both so similar. I thought for sure they'd come tell me one of you had offed the other."

"Which one did you hope it was?" Peeta's chest puffed out in short laughs. Johanna let out a high-pitched laugh and sat down in the chair next to Peeta's bed. "Me and the Mockingjay? Similar? Did that fire burn your brain too?"

He shot her a suffering look. His eyebrows were singed off but he was still very expressive. Much like the boy she had met in the training center. The boy she wanted to hate and couldn't. "You're both stubborn, loyal. Protective of those you love."

"You're all of those things too, Bread Boy."

Peeta raised a hand to brush through his unkempt blond locks. "I'm not as stubborn as you both. And you didn't let me finish." Johanna rolled her eyes but nodded for him to continue. "Impatient," he said with a forceful intonation but a smile, "and you're both fighters. You're both jaded and guarded. It's a miracle you two even speak to each other, the way you put everyone at a distance."

"That's because we're also both cowards," Johanna pointed out. Peeta's non-eyebrows scrunched in bewilderment. "C'mon you've had enough therapy to know the drill. 'People who keep others at a distance do it for themselves.' Because we're selfish cowards who can't face rejection."

Peeta's blue eyes met hers and they took on an intensive quality Johanna wasn't sure she had ever seen him take since the torture. It was pensive, like he was before. "You let some people in, so does she."

"Well yeah, that's because your rejection doesn't mean anything," Johanna replied dismissively. Peeta's gaze dropped to his blanket and Johanna felt a small measure of guilt. "Not like that. You and me, we're good. We're square, kid." The corner of his mouth twitched upward. "And I didn't mean it about Katniss. She let you in because she loves you."

"Loved," Peeta corrected. "Like I used to love her." He let out a laugh before Johanna could question him. "Well, not exactly like how I used to love her. She loved me a lot less."

Johanna groaned. "I am not here to be in your one man pity party, kid," Johanna warned. Peeta looked up at her in amusement. "What? Everyone's afraid to throw you off your crazy train but I'm not. You're not gonna hurt her. If you were, you'd have done it when you were armed with a rifle not sitting here in this bed with your paints. She still loves you. Trust me. I spent a lot of time with her."  _In her_ , Johanna mentally corrected,  _though not in the way I want_.

"Even if I believed you, it wouldn't matter. How I feel for her now, it's not the same. It's confusing and painful, to be honest. Even the memories they didn't mess with are painful. Seeing how much I loved her and how indifferent toward me she was a lot of the time." A shadow crossed over his features. "There were times when she loved me I think. Maybe if we hadn't had to go through the Quell or the torture or whatever we might have had a shot. But now? What's stopping her from getting back together with Gale?"

Johanna rolled her eyes and looked down at her nails. "The fact that it was probably his parachute snare idea that killed Prim," she stated matter-of-factly. Peeta looked up with wide eyes. "What, no one told you what happened? Hovercraft came in with a big, honkin' Capitol seal on it and dropped some parachutes. They exploded everywhere, killing Snow's Capitol kids. When the rebel medics rushed in they went off again. It was Gale and Beetee's brainchild for sure."

Johanna watched Peeta's chest rise and fall more rapidly as he came to understand that information. "How can you be sure? Why would Coin okay the murder of rebel medics? And children, even if they are Capitol."

Johanna scoffed. "Oh come on Peeta you're smarter than that." Johanna crossed her legs. "Because Coin and Snow play by the same rules. It's why they hate each other. You think Coin loses sleep over Capitol kids getting their legs blown off when she watched her own kid and husband die of pox? And trust me she's not crying over a few medics. Even if one of them was Prim."

Peeta sat back against his pillows, deflated by all this new information. Johanna watched him closely for a few moments, her gaze narrowed. "So Katniss hates Gale now?"

Johanna shrugged her shoulders and tried to look indifferent. "I don't know I haven't talked to her, but it stands to reason she's not gonna be marrying the guy. This war took a toll on them anyway. He was all gung-ho about killing everyone if it meant the end of Snow's presidency and our freedom and Katniss never bought into any of it."

"Because it was drastic," Peeta cut in. "The thing with the Nut? Killing these kids, the medics. I wasn't lying when I was on the TV and said we'd wipe each other out. We almost have."

"It was worth it," Johanna replied.

Peeta looked exasperated. "You just said Coin and Snow play by the same rules. By that logic, nothing will change."

"The devil you know." Johanna sighed. "I don't trust Coin as far as Annie Cresta could throw her but what we will have is better than what we had. Us? We're fucked. You, me, Katniss, Haymitch, Beetee, whatever. We were all fucked from the beginning. But the next generation of kids who will never get reaped? Kids who won't starve? They'll be all right. That's the change."

Peeta's expression became thoughtful as he looked at Johanna. His eyes traveled down her body to her wrist and his steely gaze honed in on her ribbon. "Is that a bracelet?"

Johanna's other hand quickly came to rub over the ribbon, half hiding it, half protecting it. "Uh, yeah."

Peeta's intense gaze never wavered. "That's one of Katniss's hair ribbons. Green." His eyes flicked up to her and he watched her worried gaze with intent. Johanna could feel herself being scrutinized. That was Peeta's true gift: being able to read people. Katniss didn't take enough time to get to know anyone but Peeta had the uncanny ability to look straight through you. "And I thought it was Gale I had to worry about," he remarked amusedly. He leaned back and looking at her knowingly. "She has no idea, the effect she can have."

Her cheeks flushed a faint pink. "She's pretty brainless." Peeta's face remained emotionless though his hands clenched and flexed a few times on his lap. Briefly Johanna worried for her safety but she figured she'd probably be able to dodge him if he tried to attack her. His eyes closed.

"I just want her to be safe. And happy," he said finally after several long minutes of silence. He opened his eyes and settled on Johanna. "I was always jealous of Gale because of their history but I reckoned I had a chance because Gale was too..." Peeta trailed off. "I don't know. Like you said he was sold on this rebellion and she wasn't. I could always count on Katniss's more practical, patient side. The side of her that was always protecting Prim. And me." Johanna nodded in understanding. "And the part of her that was in that arena. He'd never understand what that was like. To sell yourself on the Capitol's doorstep and kill people. I had that going for me."

"You still do," Johanna murmured.

He shook his head. "Yeah, but, I know why Katniss could never choose between Gale and me. Gale said to me when we were on the offensive that Katniss would choose whichever one of us she can't survive without."

Johanna rolled her eyes. "I really don't wanna go over this nauseating love triangle bullshit, Twelve."

"She can't choose," he pressed on, "because she can survive just fine without either of us. She could never choose because neither of us was everything she wanted. Everything she needed, at least. I don't know she has any idea what she wants but she knows what she needs. Someone who was in that arena who understands the heavy cost of being a victor, of being a tribute. Who can tell her that everything will be okay even if it isn't. But she needs someone uncompromising like Gale who will tell her what she needs to hear even when she doesn't want to hear it."

"And?" Johanna inquired tiredly.

Peeta's eyes rolled high up in his head. "Don't you see? You're both of those things, Johanna. If Katniss doesn't see it right now she will eventually. And if you care for her, which I think you do, you'll go after her. Because that's what we all have in common, you, me and Gale. We have a weakness where Katniss is concerned."

"I'm not gonna be some fourth point on this love square," Johanna announced, standing up from her chair. "I'm not like you and the cousin. I'm not going to pine after some girl who shows me hot and cold affection. I don't play games."

Peeta gazed up at Johanna in bemusement. "We don't have a choice," he said in a low tone. Johanna stared down at her boots. "We're all pieces in her games."

* * *

Katniss blinked rapidly at her reflection in the mirror. The prep team's effort made her look somewhat presentable in spite of the vast nothingness inside her body. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine the girl in 2 up on the projection screens, or the girl in 8 telling Snow off. Anybody but who she was now. She tried desperately to gather some of the strength she had been holding on to during this rebellion but none of it was forthcoming. Her eyes dropped down to the baby blue ribbon on her left wrist. The prep team had inquired about it but she had mumbled that it was Prim's and the team went quiet.

A tap on the door broke Katniss from her reverie. To hers and the prep team's surprise, Johanna stepped in. "Can I have a second?" Johanna asked, looking around Katniss to the prep team. They bumbled around for a moment and Johanna rolled her eyes impatiently. " _Alone_."

The prep team shuffled out the door and closed it behind them. Katniss turned to completely face Johanna. She hadn't seen her since their kiss in 13. Well, that wasn't entirely accurate. She saw Johanna in her dreams and heard her voice when she slipped in and out of consciousness in the hospital, but she hadn't  _seen_ her since that day. She looked less miserable but not entirely well. Her hair was in messy little ringlets that came down just above her eyebrows, a much lighter shade of black-brown than it had been in the Quell.

Katniss couldn't help the accusation in her tone. It was selfish and pitiful and she allowed it to happen anyway. "You didn't visit me in the hospital."

Johanna scoffed loudly. Haymitch had tasked Johanna with giving Katniss the arrow to launch at Snow and instructed her to give Katniss a 'pep talk.' She had barely responded to anyone since Prim's death and Johanna knew that slow, steady comfort was not going to give Katniss the fortitude to stand in front of the entire country and kill the president. "You didn't visit me when I was in the hospital either, Twelve," Johanna reminded tiredly. "Do you want to go tit for tat about how much we owe each other?" So no cozy reunion, Katniss thought to herself. She couldn't handle one anyway. Her emotions were basic at this point, raw. Katniss's expression changed into melancholy. Johanna deflated just slightly and looked away from Katniss. "Please don't cry."

Katniss glared at Johanna's impassive expression. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Katniss was surprised she could drum up enough emotion to be mad at Johanna, but the older victor had a way of pulling a range of emotions from her. "I just lost my sister," she said incredulously.

"So did a lot of people," Johanna dismissed, looking away to prevent Katniss from seeing the trace of pain in her eyes. She didn't want to marginalize Prim's death but an angry Katniss was a better representation of the rebellion than a sorrowful one. Katniss needed someone uncompromising right now. She could be comforting words later. Besides, Katniss was being given an honor that 75 years of previous victors didn't have a chance to do: avenge the people they loved. She could at least act like that meant something. "Present company included. But we all don't get to be the one who exacts revenge for it. Suck it up, Everdeen."

"Fuck you!" Katniss yelled, pushing Johanna backward. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you," Katniss repeated, balling her fists together and banging them against Johanna's collarbone. Johanna fought the winces at Katniss's aggressive hits and instead let Katniss wail on her. Eventually Johanna was backed against the door of the bathroom with Katniss's tight fists resting on her chest, her raggedly panting mouth just a few inches from her own. She looked up at Katniss's eyes and shook her head.

"No, don't you dare fucking cry, not now." Johanna used the tips of her fingers to roughly wipe away the two tears that had fallen from Katniss's eyes. "Hate me all you want, cry your eyes out later, but you have a job to do and you are  _not_ letting that bastard see you cry." She held up the single, plain arrow that Haymitch had instructed her to bring Katniss. "Firing the last shot. Symbolic or whatever. Make them pay for what they did to Prim."

Katniss took the arrow from Johanna and moved it between her fingers. She slipped it into the sheath on her back then returned her hands to Johanna's chest. "Make who pay?" she asked softly, looking down into Johanna's beautifully expressive brown eyes. She wondered how Johanna managed to get her to feel anything, even the anger and now the ache of longing, just by looking into her eyes. No one else seemed to have that effect on her.

Johanna placed each of her hands on either of Katniss's shoulders. Katniss's hands flexed open and felt the warmth of Johanna's body through the gray rebel uniform. They stood like that, holding onto one another, for a spell. "Trust your instincts. They haven't failed you so far, right? You're still here. I mean you look like shit but you're alive."

"How wonderful for Panem," Katniss replied, her voice thick with sarcasm.

"I'm not complaining," Johanna muttered under her breath. Her fingers manipulated the small pocket on Katniss's left shoulder and her forehead creased. "What's that?"

Katniss looked down at her hand and gave a small smile. "Cinna's last gift. A nightlock pill just in case we were captured in combat."

"An easy way out, you mean," Johanna derided with a roll of her eyes. Her eyes clouded over in a tortured haze. "Though the alternative isn't pretty, I guess." Johanna staved off any pity from Katniss by taking each of her wrists and pulling them off her body, placing them back at Katniss's sides. She let her fingers linger longer than necessary on the delicate bones of Katniss's wrists. Their eyes locked hard before Johanna looked away again. "We've gotta get going. Coin wants us for a special meeting before the execution."

Katniss nodded and swallowed audibly. "What about?"

Johanna's shoulders bounced and she stepped around Katniss and back toward the door. "Hell if I know. All the victors left are required to attend." Katniss stood frozen in the room as she watched Johanna leave. A thousand things were on the tip of her tongue but none of them came out. Apologies, sympathy, anger. More strangely than those emotions, the urge to kiss her was overwhelming. As usual, Johanna seemed to understand. "No more mushy talks, remember? I'm not one of the boys, and this is not the time. You can thank me after it's done."

Katniss managed a ghost of a smile and followed Johanna out after retrieving her glass with Snow's rose in it.

* * *

" _What_?" Johanna was certain she hadn't heard President Coin correctly. The shock of the statement absorbed into her skin and chilled her to her very core. There was no way she was suggesting what she was suggesting.

"We hold another Hunger Games using Capitol children," Coin repeated calmly, looking around at all the victors. Johanna hated the way Coin looked at them. In some rooms there'd be fear - a room full of killers would inspire that. When Snow would meet with them he'd look at them like a fucked up proud father. Johanna almost preferred that to Coin's angering indifference.

They sat there in relative silence until Peeta finally spoke up. "Are you joking?"

Coin shook her head, the unbroken curtain of gray hair around her head waving in the effort. "No. I should also tell you that if we do hold the Games, it will be known it was done with your approval, although the individual breakdown of your votes will be kept secret for your own security."

Haymitch rubbed the stubble in his chin. "Was this Plutarch's idea?" Johanna shot him a look out of the corner of her eye. He wasn't asking; he was clarifying. He wanted to know who was ultimately responsible for this.

"No, it was mine. It seemed to balance the need for vengeance with the least loss of life. You may cast your votes."

"No!" Peeta immediately shouted and slammed his palms on the table. "I vote no, of course! We can't have another Hunger Games!" His blue eyes searched the room for approval but all the victors had their eyes elsewhere. No one else could claim the selflessness that came so easily to Peeta.

Johanna mused on the thought. "Why not? It seems very fair to me." She sat back in her chair, rolling up the sleeves on her uniform. "Snow even has a granddaughter. I vote yes." Her eyes locked with Katniss's from across the table but the younger girl revealed no emotion one way or the other.

"So do I," Enobaria agreed with indifference. Johanna shot her another glare. "Let them have a taste of their own medicine." The slight trace of anger in her tone took Johanna by surprise. She knew Enobaria had been part of the Capitol rape circus but her situation was much prettier than Johanna's or Finnick's. But maybe, if she did hate the Capitol, Johanna wouldn't kill her when the execution was over.  _Maybe_.

Peeta's eyes widened with alarm. "This is why we rebelled, remember?" His eyes desperately searched the room. "Annie?"

"I vote no with Peeta," the redheaded girl agreed with a small nod. Her hand rested on her abdomen. "And so would Finnick if he were here."

That statement irked Johanna more than she thought it should. She wasn't so sure Finnick would vote no. He had a lot to be angry at the Capitol about. Possibly things he hadn't told Annie; surely she hadn't watched his propo. Delusional girl, Johanna thought to herself. "But he isn't because Snow's mutts killed him," she reminded Annie in a harsh tone. Katniss met her eyes for a moment and tried to convey sympathy but Johanna pointedly looked away.

"No," Beetee said finally. "It sets a bad precedent. We have to stop viewing one another as enemies. At this point, unity is essential for our survival. No."

"We're down to Katniss and Haymitch," Coin said passively, looking to Katniss.

Katniss's eyes were trained on the rose in the glass.  _Trust your instincts_. Katniss lifted her gaze to meet Johanna's. It slowly dropped until she got to Johanna's hands which were flat, palms down on the table. Her fingernails looked clean, perhaps she was able to withstand some baths now, Katniss mused. Then she saw the pretty silk green ribbon.  _Her_  ribbon. Her green ribbon that Johanna had wrapped the pine needles with was tied around her wrist with a tiny intricate knot. Katniss's eyes went to her own wrist where she saw Prim's ribbon tied the same way. Johanna  _had_ come to visit her, she realized. She should've known by the graceful, beautiful knot that was woven just over the pulse of her wrist. All the times Katniss heard Johanna's voice, she was really there. She gave her Prim's ribbon to remind her why they were fighting. And to remind her she was there for her. Katniss felt a brief wave of guilt for having assumed the worst of Johanna when she had come to deliver the arrow. Even after living in Johanna's skin she still fell into that bad habit. Johanna learned to see through her but she hadn't quite figured out how to do the same. At least that was one thing the rebellion had given her: a chance to know Johanna better. She was going to take it.

"I vote yes," Katniss said slowly, her eyes on the rose in the glass. "For Prim." Briefly she side-eyed Johanna who seemed to be wearing an impressed expression, both eyebrows raised upward. Was she impressed or surprised? Katniss didn't know. As Peeta hammered into Haymitch about his vote Katniss's eyes never left Johanna's. She was hoping some part of the switch made them able to read each other's minds. No such luck. Johanna was impassive, if not distracted. Haymitch agreed eventually and Katniss handed Coin the rose to put in Snow's lapel.

It was all set.

* * *

Katniss took in (former) President Snow's pitiful appearance as he hovered on his knees tied to the pole on the terrace. Her eyes moved around to the people overflowing the city circle. All the rebels and victors she had befriended. The people she had come to love in the various ways she was able. Her mind burned with the image of Prim on fire as she squeezed her eyes shut to concentrate. When she opened them Snow was staring at her expectantly, a smile on his face.

Katniss lifted her bow, aiming at his rose. Blood spewed from his mouth as he let out a slow chuckle.  _Trust your instincts_. She raised the bow and let the arrow fly and sink into President Coin's chest. Her body fell limply over the balcony and landed behind Snow. He keeled over in laughter and blood poured forth from his mouth.

Johanna shot forward and elbowed her way toward Katniss until she finally reached her, before the rest of the rebels. Her hand clamped over Katniss's left shoulder and winced as the girl's teeth sunk into her flesh. Katniss looked up at her with unfocused gray eyes. "Let me go!"

"I can't," Johanna replied in a plaintive voice. In spite of the pain throbbing in her hand and the slickness of blood through her fingers she tore the pill out of Katniss's pocket and tossed it on the ground. It immediately got crushed beneath the boot of a guard as the rebels broke them apart. Johanna stumbled backward into someone but she watched as Katniss clawed at the guards and screamed for Gale. Her eyes went up to the screen where Katniss's insanity was on display for all of Panem to see. "Stupid girl," Johanna muttered as they dragged Katniss out of the pandemonium in the city circle.

* * *

Weeks passed. Katniss had no bearing on time but the snow on her windowsill in her cell/room in the Training Center collected and vanished. Meals appeared every day as she attempted to starve to death or kill herself with morphling. Neither worked. After what seemed like agonizing slow death Haymitch materialized in her doorway. "Get up," he said gruffly. "Your trial's over. You're going home."

Katniss blinked in confusion. Home. Where was that? There was nothing left of her home anymore. Haymitch left no room for any protestations and Katniss couldn't offer any alternatives. So after being rehydrated and bathed and fed Katniss was hauled onto the hovercraft that quickly took to the skies. Haymitch and Plutarch sat strapped in across from Katniss. The plump white-haired man clapped his hands on his knees. "You must have a million questions," he said.

She didn't have any but nodded anyway. "The trial," she offered lamely.

"After you shot President Coin there was pure chaos. It took us a while but we threw together an emergency election and we put Commander Paylor in charge of Panem." Katniss smiled weakly. She liked Paylor in the brief time they met. At least someone had a say in who took power as opposed to Coin sauntering in after everything was done. "I'm in charge of communications," he said proudly, puffing out his already large chest, "so I televised your trial. During which I was a witness." Katniss raised her eyebrow. "In your defense, of course."

"As was everyone else," Haymitch interjected. "Dr. Aurelius basically pegged you as a crazy person which isn't exactly inaccurate." Katniss would've soured at this assumption but he wasn't wrong. Only a crazy person would be able to assassinate the new president within weeks of her ascension to power and still be alive. "You had some other friends on your side too."

"Oh yes," Plutarch added eagerly. "Your mother was instrumental in painting a picture of your grief over losing your sister. She was quite brave." A nagging thought cropped up in Katniss's brain. Her mother wasn't present on this trip. Her eyes looked briefly to Haymitch but he didn't return the gaze. "And Johanna Mason was quite helpful."

Katniss perked up. "Johanna? I guess she'd love an opportunity to go on TV and tell the whole country I'm brainless. She's always telling me," Katniss grumbled but her annoyance was mild. Johanna's support came at the unlikeliest of times but always when Katniss needed it most.

Plutarch chuckled and shook his mop of white hair. "Not exactly. Though she did do a spirited impression of you, I'll give her that. But no, she had two things to say that helped. First, that she's lost her family, too, so she explained that to the jury. Her being a victor places her close to you, emotionally, you know. Peeta wasn't considered reliable and the other victors didn't share your experience." Katniss nodded solemnly. "She told them she said to you that she thought President Coin dropped the parachutes."

Katniss's eyes widened to comical levels. "She  _what_?"

"She said that when she gave you the arrow, she told you she thought the hovercraft was orchestrated by Coin," he repeated to her. If it had been Coin, surely Plutarch would've known. Katniss searched his face for some sort of reaction but the former Gamemaker showed none. "They gave her hell for that one but she was convincing. She went on about how close you two became as roommates which was evident in that she saved you from taking that pill. And she said you trusted her opinion. She wasn't a fan of President Coin so she thought she'd suggest to you that perhaps Alma had been responsible for your sister's death. Surely anyone can understand you wanting revenge for that."

Katniss was speechless. Johanna basically told everyone  _she_  was the traitor in Panem, not Katniss. "What did they do to her?" she asked fearfully.

Plutarch waved his hand. "Nothing really. Paylor practically pardoned her. Something about all the victors getting a clean slate. Though I don't think Johanna will be welcome in the Capitol any longer. Or in Thirteen. They were mighty mad, some of them." The hovercraft began its descent into District 3. "I've got to work on some of the comm. technology with Beetee but don't be a stranger, Katniss, okay?"

Once Plutarch had disappeared and they were back up in the clouds, Katniss looked to Haymitch. "My mother's not coming back, is she?" Katniss asked.

Haymitch handed her an envelope from across the aisle. Katniss looked down at the graceful lettering. "She's setting up a new hospital in Four. You know why she can't come back. She said to call once we land." Katniss examined the letter and tucked it into her jacket.

"And you're my mentor again, huh?" Katniss raised an eyebrow. Haymitch shrugged.

"They don't have a use for me in the Capitol, either," he replied. Katniss took the sandwich Haymitch offered and chewed on the bread's burned edges. Her eyes went to the fading ribbon around her wrist and they began to sting. "I don't know where she went."

"Who?" Katniss asked thickly.

"You know who. Once they let her go she took off. Nobody's heard from her since. Not that she's got any friends to keep in contact with anymore." Katniss took another bite of her sandwich and gazed out the window at the whizzing clouds. Somewhere in the land below Johanna was alone, cooped with her hydrophobia and her nightmares. Branded a traitor by rebels and Capitol alike. She had staked her life on deception before and had done it again, but this time not for her own survival, but for Katniss's.

Maybe that's how she was going to 'be there for her.' Go behind her back again to save her life. Katniss suddenly wished she had taken the pine bundle with her. Instead she tilted her head back and rested it on the swell of foam behind her. Her eyes closed and she tried, desperately, to conjure up one of Johanna's memories still inside her brain. Something real. Not some nightmarish rehash of her family dying. Anything else. Suddenly she was back in the Training Center. Through the pane of glass she watched herself take out the digital orange block targets. As she finished her gaze went briefly to Wiress who was clapping, then back to Katniss. Katniss smiled at the emotions she felt at Johanna's memory: arousal, the indication of being impressed, a pang of jealousy, admiration.

There were many things to do first but she knew she had to find Johanna.

* * *

Fifteen days. Katniss counted fifteen days. Greasy Sae showed up twice a day, unbidden but clearly paid by someone, to cook her meals and talk at her. Katniss sat in the kitchen and stared mutely.

Day 5 she found Buttercup - torn up little thing - and screamed at him. Cantankerous Buttercup looked up at her and he knew it wasn't the time for a fight. Instead he took her abuse, allowed her to clean his cut and thorny paw, and kept vigilant watch as she slept.

Peeta showed up on day 10. He made a garden of evening primroses around the side of the house as Katniss watched from a nearby tree stump. His presence was a comfort.

Day 11 she finally took a shower and peeled away all the dead skin and cleansed the smell of roses from her skin and hair.

Day 12 she practically begged Haymitch to let her know where Johanna was. He drunkenly insisted he had no idea. Katniss was pretty certain he was lying.

Day 13 she called her mother. Not only to check on and see how she was doing, to grieve over Prim, but to ask if she knew where Johanna Mason might be. It was a long shot but her mother was on a short list of people Johanna knew who were still alive. "She was here," her mother said, surprise in her tone. "She was in Four with Annie."

"With Annie Cresta?" Katniss repeated into the phone.

"Yes," her mother confirmed. "Johanna showed up a week or so ago and helped Annie get settled in her home. They took some damage here but the Victor's Village was mostly unscathed. She helped her move Finnick's things into the new home. Annie's pregnant," her mother revealed. Katniss blinked in confusion. What the hell did that have to do with Johanna? Either she murmured something along those lines or her mother knew her well because she sighed into the phone. "I believe that Miss Mason was here as a duty to your mutual friend Finnick. She didn't exactly look thrilled."

Katniss managed a small smile. "No, I'm sure she's not. She's not the picture of patience."

"Only with you."

"What?"

"She's the picture of patience with you. That poor girl probably got a twist in her back from sleeping hunched over by your bed almost every night you were in the hospital." Her mother's tone turned teasing. "Not that she knew I was awake."

"Are we talking about the same Johanna Mason?" Katniss inquired into the phone, disbelief pervasive in her voice. She had realized Johanna visited her when she was asleep because of the ribbon but she had no idea it was every night. It only made the longing worse.

Her mother's light laugh came over the line. "Yes. Anyway she left sometime yesterday to back to Seven, I think. I could call Annie and ask her if you'd like."

"No," Katniss interjected glumly. "That won't be necessary. Thanks Mom. Love you."

"Love you too."

Day 14 Katniss tried to reach Johanna in her dreams. She battled the nightmare of being buried in ashes and tried to wipe away the forest with Rue. She wanted to be somewhere with Johanna. To see her again, to talk to her. Peeta's sporadic presence was helpful; he'd come by and do some painting every now and then to keep her company. Greasy Sae and her granddaughter did what they could but Katniss knew what she wanted. What she needed. What she craved, somehow, though she could scarcely drum up any other emotions, was Johanna. She never materialized in her dream world.

Day 15 a knock came at her door. Greasy Sae had left for the day and Peeta didn't usually knock. A brief fear shot through Katniss as she thought it might be someone to take her away for killing President Coin. Her fears were abated when she opened the door to reveal Johanna as she had never seen her. Not in a dress or a uniform or stark naked. She was wearing a red and black oversized, thick flannel shirt over a pair of worn men's cargo pants and a pair of scuffed black work boots.

Her hair was windswept around her head and partially covering her eyes. Katniss stepped back from the doorway. Her mouth opened and closed a few times in shock. "Gonna let me stand out here all day? What would Effie Trinket say?"

Katniss stumbled backward a step and let Johanna inside. As Johanna passed by Katniss saw the large duffel bag slung over her shoulder. Johanna's eyes took in the room closely, just as she had done when they moved into their compartment. Katniss had assumed it was a natural curiosity or jealousy that made Johanna inspect their room but now, with her dressed like a lumberjack, she realized it may have just been her natural instinct to assess furnishings and architecture. "What..." It was the beginning of a lot of questions Katniss had.

Johanna tossed her bag on the floor of the formal living room which made a loud thump and clang against the wood. She splayed herself on the couch, crossing her legs over one another and clasping her hands over her stomach. "Nice digs."

Katniss took a look around at the furniture. She sort of hated all of it. They were all Capitol furnishings with too much shine and they were all places Prim had sat. "I hate it."

Johanna smirked at her. "The whole house? That's rather spoiled of you, Mockingjay."

"No," Katniss objected, still stood immobile in the middle of the room. Johanna was here. In her home. Her mind was sluggish to respond about the furnishings of her home but it was easier than tackling why Johanna was there. "The furniture. The things in here, they're all from the Capitol. And they remind me of..."

Johanna nodded and pressed her palms against the plushness of the couch. "No problem, I'll just make you new stuff."

"Oh? You're planning on staying?" Katniss bristled with sarcastic inflection. She crossed her arms and her gaze dropped to the floor. When she looked up Johanna was appraising her with narrowed brown eyes. "You said you'd be here when I got back and you-you weren't here."

"First of all,  _brainless_ , I called you. Maybe pick up your stinking phone every once in a while, hm?" Katniss's eyes diverted to the ground in shame. "And I know what I said," Johanna admitted. "I made a promise to Finnick a long time ago that I would look after Annie. She told me she was knocked up so I knew I had to make sure she was okay. And she is, oddly enough. The baby has given her some focus I think. Irony, right? Most women are idiots when they're pregnant - I mean you were and you were pretending - but Annie Cresta gets her shit together. Life is weird." Katniss still looked unsatisfied and Johanna rolled her eyes. "It's not always about you, Mockingjay."

"Stop calling me that!" Katniss demanded, her voice cracking from underuse and emotion. She hadn't said more than a few words in over two weeks and nothing that loud. Her fists clenched at her sides but she released one hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. Johanna slowly rose up into a sitting position, her elbows on her knees. "Just stop it! Stop acting like everything is okay. It's not. She's gone."

"You're right, she's gone," Johanna replied flatly. "And nothing we can do or say will bring her back. Trust me, I've tried." Johanna stood up and brushed her hands on her pants. She took a tentative step toward Katniss. "You cry and you scream and you throw shit. But you keep on living because to act like you're dead is a disservice to those who are. You can't bring back Finnick or Prim or anyone else on your guilt list. I'll never see my parents or my siblings. But I live every day because they can't. You get it?"

Katniss compressed her lips for a moment with a curt nod, then ran her tongue along her lips and nodded again. "All I wanted was to protect my sister."

"And instead you overturned a corrupt government, prevented  _another_  one, and brought life back to the entire fucking country. The world doesn't begin and end within arm's reach, brainless. Prim is gone but because of her and you, life goes on," Johanna said, stepping closer to Katniss. She took Katniss's hand and placed it flat against her chest, above her heart.

If someone had told her months ago she'd be hugging Johanna Mason for emotional support she would've thought they were crazier than a strung out morphling from 6. But there she was, embracing Johanna tightly and letting the tears absorb into her warm flannel that reeked of pine. Johanna's strong arms enveloped her as she placed her head on Katniss's shoulder. After a few long moments Katniss pulled away and Johanna instinctively wiped the tears from her cheeks. "My trial, you... why did you say those things?"

Johanna rolled her eyes. "You know why." Her gaze settled on the taller girl and she found she couldn't keep Katniss's inquisitive stare. Even after looking at everything else in the room, Katniss was still staring at her when they locked eyes again. She huffed an exasperated sigh. "Same reason I didn't let you kill yourself in the city circle."

Katniss attempted levity. "Because I was the best looking person in Thirteen?" Johanna's cheeks blushed faintly at her tease and Katniss's lips spread in a smile. "Did I make the shameless Johanna Mason blush?"

Johanna sucked in her cheeks and tucked her tongue between her teeth to bite back a response. Katniss got under her skin in a way no one else could and Johanna abhorred how much she enjoyed it. "Can it, Everdeen." Johanna's teeth briefly tugged on her bottom lip before she let it go and looked up at the girl. "So what's the deal? Can I stay?"

The brunette pretended to mull it over and Johanna cocked her head to the side. "I suppose as long as you're going to make yourself useful and make me all new furniture I can be burdened with the plucky District Seven victor of the 71st Hunger Games."

"Oh really?" Johanna bantered playfully, giving Katniss a short shove backward. "How  _generous_  of you. If only the cameras were here now to capture this moment of selflessness. Or would you still need a script? I'm surprised Cressida didn't realize what was going on the second I got up on that stage as you and was able to actually say something useful."

Katniss growled and poked Johanna underneath her ribs with a short jab of her pointer finger. "I hate you," she remarked with a grin, crossing her arms over her chest.

The older girl licked her lips and rubbed at the sore spot Katniss just created. "No you don't."

She hefted a sigh and Katniss looked over to the door, then back to Johanna. With just the hint of a smile on her face she replied, "No, I don't." Their bodies moved closer again and Katniss felt the radiating heat of Johanna's body against her own. Suddenly she wanted to drown in that heat, like she had been cold her entire life. Whatever emotion was in her eyes Johanna must've caught it because when she looked down at her the brown-eyed girl looked surprised but hopeful. "About that talk, I don't - I don't know if I can."

"I'm not here to chase you," Johanna said. "That's not why I came. To be honest I don't have anywhere else to go and with you seemed better than being alone at any rate." Katniss's lips scrunched in the wake of Johanna's half-truth. A feeling of anxiousness rumbled in her stomach that felt familiar but not her own. A few moments of the anxiety made Katniss realize she was still feeling Johanna's emotions. Her eyes flicked down to the guileless brown ones and she smiled. Johanna was nervous. "I'm not here for any promises. I'm not here to solve your problems with my dick like those idiot boys think they can."

Katniss blinked a few times at Johanna's crassness and humorously masculine use of the phrase 'my dick' but her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Then what are you here for? You won't settle for friendship and you don't want promises."

Johanna shrugged. "I"m here for first place," she replied, like it was the simplest thing in the world. "The boys waited and sat on your porch begging for you to throw them a scrap. That's not me. I'm here because you want me here. Isn't that right?" Johanna's confidence was so overwhelming Katniss had little to do but agree. "So you're not going to string me along. You're not going to come in and out of whatever-this-is between us whenever you feel like it. We're gonna fight. We're gonna argue and you're going to be a pain in my ass and I'm going to be a pain in yours. Because that's what we do. That's what we need." Johanna's resolve hardened. "And sometimes we're gonna need to cry and throw shit, and we'll do that too. I'll tell you when you're being a self-pitying little shit and you can tell me when I'm being an obnoxious ass."

"I'll lose my voice at that rate," Katniss interrupted with a grin. Johanna shot her a look and she closed her lips.

"And everything else, well," Johanna lips widened in a catlike grin and Katniss blushed a deep crimson, "I can remember pretty vividly that you wanted that too. I knew that prudish little girl act was a put-on."

Katniss shot her arms down at her sides petulantly. "You're being an obnoxious ass."

"Yeah? Okay, then what are you going to do about it?" Johanna posed cockily. "We both know I can put you in your place. But what we don't know-" Johanna said as Katniss began stepping toward her. Johanna took equal steps back until she hit a random armchair and she fell into it. "Is if you can-" Katniss's legs came around her thighs and she sat on her lap, her hands cupping either side of Johanna's face. Johanna's heart thumped loudly and her breath stuck in her suddenly dry throat and mouth. "If you can put me in mine," she finished in a whisper as Katniss's lips hovered just over her own. She felt the slightest brush of her skin as Katniss's mouth ghosted over hers, then slowly ran across her cheek to her ear. Her hands unconsciously gripped the sides of the chair.

Katniss placed her lips right over Johanna's ear, breathing a long breath directly on to her skin. Johanna shivered beneath her. "I think I just did," she drawled.

Johanna let out a slow, shuddering breath through her nose and Katniss pulled up, running her fingers through her thick brown hair and cocking an eyebrow at Johanna's aroused and frustrated expression. "I hate you."

The younger girl took Johanna's hands in her own and laced their fingers together. "No you don't," she sing-songed in a teasing voice.

Johanna rolled her eyes in defiance but she was soundly defeated. "No, I don't," she replied glumly. The gloominess was gone as Katniss pressed her lips against Johanna's with a quiet gasp. Katniss relinquished her hold on Johanna's hands to instead grip the sides of her face again. Johanna's hands criss-crossed up her shirt and around her back and held her closely as her tongue darted out to plunge into Katniss's mouth and taste her breath.

Antagonizing Katniss had been an incredibly satisfying pastime for her in Thirteen. Getting Katniss riled up and frustrated was one of the few highlights of her day. But as her lips kissed their way down the hollow of Katniss's throat, she knew that this was a much more pleasurable way of antagonizing her. As their kiss slowed Katniss repositioned herself so she sat across Johanna's lap, her shins dangling off the side of the chair. She wrapped her arms around Johanna's middle and the older girl cradled her in her arms.

And this... this was good too. Maybe even better, Johanna relented silently to herself. She'd never admit it aloud.

* * *

"Miss Katniss Everdeen!" The booming voice came over the video phone that was situated on the newly built coffee table in the middle of the living room. Katniss had not wanted to agree to installing one of Beetee's newest inventions - a phone with a built in camera that projected a hologram of the receiver - but Johanna insisted.

"Hey Plutarch," Katniss greeted with a smile. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Plutarch chuckled and fiddled with an unseen knob on his phone as his picture came in clearer. He was in some sort of stainless steel laboratory. Behind him where several cages in which Katniss could just make out that there were animals. "Beetee has been coming up with something amazing and he told me that you might be familiar with the technology."

Katniss's forehead creased in mild confusion. Technology? Maybe something to do with the intuitive bow. It had been returned to her - along with all her other things from the Capitol and 13 - but she hadn't used it. She preferred her own hunting bow now when she went out in the woods for game. "I doubt it."

"Doubt what?" Johanna asked, flopping down on the couch. She stretched her legs cross-wise over Katniss's and held herself up by encircling Katniss's arm in her own. She rested her head on her shoulder and looked at Plutarch. "What's up?"

Plutarch looked at them with a smile. "Johanna Mason, just the other girl I was hoping to talk to. How have things been in Twelve?"

"Oh you know, same old. Clearing out dusty bodies from the meadow. Building that medicine factory. Making sure ol' Sharpshooter over here doesn't go crazy and off another president." Katniss shot her a shocked glare and Johanna merely grinned in response. "I'd trade sawdust for this soot that's still everywhere but," she gave Katniss a warm look, "can't really complain." Beetee rolled onto the screen and Johanna smiled. "Volts!"

"Hello Johanna, Katniss," Beetee acknowledged. "We called because I have gotten my hands on some technology that you both have some experience with." Johanna's confused expression mirrored Katniss's.

"Yes," Plutarch cut in excitedly. "Some old Capitol technology Beetee said he found in Thirteen. It sounds very promising." Plutarch held up a small metal triangle in his hand. "Beetee here says this thing can make two people switch bodies. It's even got a name now. The Draconian Katra. Neat, no?"

Johanna nearly fell off the couch in shock. The pair of them sat on the furniture and they both felt the world spinning around them. Their ability to share emotions had waned over the last few months but sometimes it came back with startling clarity. In moments of intense emotion Katniss was sure she felt whatever Johanna was feeling. If it was raining, Katniss felt Johanna's anxiety. If Katniss had a nightmare, Johanna was holding her even before she began crying out. Sometimes they would even experiment to see if they could figure out what the other person was feeling from different rooms. It helped pass the time.

One particularly interesting time Katniss sat in the living room, Johanna in the kitchen, and Katniss had felt a sudden, sharp electric jolt of arousal. After a minute or two she realized it was not her own libido and went running into the kitchen. Johanna was cackling heartily with her back against the counter, one of her hands down the front of her open jeans. Katniss had wanted to be angry but it was an overwhelmingly erotic image with Johanna's face flush and her lip tugged within her teeth. Katniss swallowed down her raging libido, sat calmly on the chair in the kitchen across from where Johanna stood and crossed her legs, then hardened her gaze. She said one word in the lowest tone she could manage and she thought Johanna was going to melt, her skin went so red.  _"Finish."_ Johanna never teased her like that again.

When they - Katniss flushed involuntarily at the memory - when they were  _intimate_ , their connection was extremely heightened. Katniss wasn't sure if that was common as she had nothing to compare it with, but Johanna insisted sex was never like that. Katniss liked to do those experiments most of all. She wasn't sure if it was Johanna's lingering presence inside her or the fact that her attraction to Johanna was far and beyond what she had experienced previously, but she found herself a much more sexually aware person in the older girl's presence. It was certainly not unwelcome. Johanna's voice broke her increasingly distracting thought train. "You can't be serious."

Plutarch nodded his head enthusiastically. "He told me all about what happened in Thirteen. How fascinating!" Katniss felt the dread spreading in her stomach and knew Johanna was feeling it too. "Beetee has come a long way with figuring out how to operate this thing. We were wondering if you guys would want to give it another go?" Plutarch hesitated a moment. "It would be worth it! I mean, you ladies have never heard of Jean-Paul Sartre, I'm assuming?" He didn't wait for an answer. "This device will force people to see themselves as others see them. Sartre's Look. You see yourself from another's perspective. It could really be a breakthrough in psychological therapy!"

Both sets of eyes widened nearly to the point of pain. Johanna felt her throat go completely dry. After a few moments of shocked silence Johanna piped up. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Beetee and Plutarch shared a glance and both men erupted in laughter. "Of course we are!" Plutarch said, placing his hand on his rounded belly. "We've got animals here we're trying it out on. Mr. Latier thought it would be funny to tease you guys."

Katniss groaned and let her head drop to the back of the couch. Johanna's expression soured as she looked at the two guffawing men on the screen. "Very fucking funny Volts. I should've left you in that godforsaken jungle."

Beetee adjusted his glasses and chuckled. "Oh no you wouldn't. Then you wouldn't be sitting where you are now, with that person right there." Johanna looked at Katniss and felt the heat of the blush appearing on her cheeks. "I know you've been building her new furniture but don't forget I was the first gift you ever gave Katniss."

Katniss chuckled and shook her head. "Actually the first gift was in the elevator before the Quell," she replied before slapping her hand over her mouth. Johanna, Beetee and Plutarch all looked at Katniss in surprise. Her face turned a deep shade of beetroot and she buried her cheeks in her hands. "Okay time to either kill me or turn this thing off."

"Have fun girls. Stay out of trouble!" Plutarch called before reaching forward and ending the call. Johanna rolled her eyes and turned the phone off from her end, then snuggled back into Katniss's side.

"So," she drawled in a light, teasing tone, "you enjoyed my elevator introduction?" Johanna pulled Katniss's hands away from her face and scrutinized her. "I mean I know you did. That was like the first memory of yours I sort of filed back to watch."

Katniss slapped Johanna's legs playfully. "I don't know if that's more perverted or self-centered." Johanna shrugged. "Obnoxious ass."

Johanna kissed Katniss on the cheek, then waited for Katniss to turn to her to kiss her fully on the mouth. "Mmm, but you love it. And don't say you don't because remember," she pointed to her chest, "I can feel that you do."

"Oh you're gonna feel somethin' all right."

Johanna wiggled her eyebrows. "That's the best you've got,  _Mockingjay?_ "

Katniss smiled as she recalled this conversation from right after their switch. When she had tried out calling Johanna 'Jo' and Johanna had said, by  _not_  saying it, that she was the best-looking person in Thirteen. Katniss wondered how oblivious she had been to all of Johanna's advances. The body-switching opened her eyes into Johanna's guarded, intimate world. It revealed how they saw each other, and themselves. And luckily, she thought as Johanna's warm lips kissed below her ear, revealed how oddly fitting they were together.

Gale had been right. She would pick the person she couldn't survive without. Fortunately, it happened to be the person she loved. Weirdly, it happened to be Johanna Mason. Miraculously, it worked perfectly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Fin! Thank you all for the incredible support for this little story. 2,000 points to anyone who realized the Draconian Katra is the name of the device from the BtVS episode I took this concept/story title from. Which, in case anyone did know, is a season 4 Buffy episode called "This Year's Girl." Which, yes, I can recite by heart. I know, ladies and gents, calm your loins. There's only so much of me to go around.
> 
> Thanks again to Johannas-Motivational-Insults for her always immensely helpful beta reading. And her startlingly excellent memory. :)


End file.
